there's no use crying over spilled milk, sweetheart

whatever.

okay. here's a snapshot of these days.

1.) tharen can't fix our brakes because after twice taking the wheel off, once to find out you need a special tool (which we bought), and then again only to find out that you need an air pressured tool as well! so now we have to pay the dude down the street 90 bucks to do it in his shop. tharen sure is happy that he arranged the time to do the brakes when it would've been more cost effective to just take it the fuck IN to the shop in the first place so he could WORK! whatever.
2.) when i went out to take jack to school this morning, i had to reach back in the house and grab my wallet. the door was in the process of closing, so i held my foot up to stop it and push it open again. my foot went through the cat door, and at first i though it was a little cute 'n' stuff, you know, early morning giggle material: "oh! *heehee* my foot went in through the cat door! *heehee*" but yeah. my foot literally went THROUGH the cat door. the stupid thing broke off, and now i have to go buy a new one. whatever.
3.) so, i'm a little pissed at this point, but goin' good at the same time because i'm gonna get jack to school early enough to hang with his friends before he goes in the class. yeah. NOPE! battery's dead. so i quickly call to see if the religious devil spawn down the street has left yet, and they had, BUT super evil spawner rushes right over with a jump start, and i get jack to school a few minutes late, meaning i have to take him inside to the office....which means i have to turn off the truck after running for only five minutes.

yes! all you in the know are right! NOT LONG ENOUGH TO CHARGE! i knew the fucking thing wouldn't start when i came back out! beepbeepboop-boopbeepboop-beepbeepbeepboop...hello, bcaa? SAVE ME! dude comes half an hour later, jumps me, gives the battery a successful (wtf) charge test, and i'm on my merry way, with no idea why my battery died in the first place. whatever.4.) i'm so merry because i'm on my way to pick up tharen's paycheque....this means a new cat door, brake service, umpteen bill payments, FOOD, and a carpet cleaning which i'll cover in my next point. paycheque...what paycheque? that's right! NOT THERE! so i phone tharen, tharen phones boss, boss says that pay day is really on the 16th, and he's just been getting them early. whatever.
5.) the carpet. yes. the stinky, smelly, stench filled, bacteria laden, lung congesting synthetic loop system of bovine juice rot infested carpet. sweet stuff! my house smelled like a thousand rotting asses yesterday. the other day i thought i smelled a little something 'off'. i searched high and low and finally came upon the smell on the couch. jared had been given a juice box thingy that squirts out a little every time it gets squished a little with MILK in it and allowed to go in the living room. i'm not gonna say who gave it to him, but he's tall, hairy, answers to 'dingbat', and i'm married to him. he totally knows better! FUCK! anyway, after berating his sorry brain power, i get out the steamer thing and get to de-lousing the couch. it works. but i can still smelllllllllll.....FUCK!

it's the carpet! and it's wet! and i'm gagging! holy christ i swear i almost passed out when i bent down to sniff it. so, upon discovery through investigation, there was some sort of dairy product spilled there while there was a babysitter here the day before. i wanted to go get her and drag her back to the house to give her a life lesson on what happens when you don't clean up milk properly, but i couldn't. i must deal. FUCK.

so i attack the carpet with my steam cleaner, but that just winds up sending steamy wafts of puke inducing stench up to me to infiltrate my clothes and hair! nixed that idea and covered it in pretty jasmine vanilla baby powder and rolled it up to get at the underlay. more baby powder and some propping up to air out....some bleach and a scrub brush for the wood underneath (which is just plywood, booooo), and it's good with all the doors and windows open, intermittent lysol sprays, and the boys hiding in my bedroom to alleviate the stench from getting stuck in their snot. jared's mostly happy 'cause we stopped asking if it was his butt that smelled!

i've laid the carpet back down, and while the reek has greatly improved, it's NOT gone. i have to douse it with some oxi clean and get the store rental carpet cleaner on it. the bonus here is that the carpets needing cleaning anyway, as well as countless rugs and the couch, most importantly. whatever.

6.) i'm sure there's more, but i'm gonna go chug the rest of my wine to see if it helps with my whine.

lights~out

purely a distraction...

hullo.
yay! jack is feeling better today! i was so happy to wake up from a pretty ok sleep to hear him happy. he's been up and about and giggly and silly and most importantly - NOT PUKING! i won't count my pukey chickens, though...there are still puke bowls placed conveniently about the premises. he had a piece of toast and some ginger ale for breakfast, and it all seems ok so far *touching wood*.

jared has an attitude today though, holy crap! maybe he's getting the evil sickness...and i don't feel too shit hot, either. but hey. i'm a machine, right? ...right? i'm pretty sure i'll be putting him down for a nap fairly shortly to let his little body do whatever it needs to do. besides, tharen will be home in the evening, and he is SO totally the one who's gonna have to worry about bedtimes tonight. that is - IF i even let him in the house. jesus, you have no idea whatta jackass loser he can be. hence, the distraction.

i figured i'd tell you about what else is going on in my life. it's what lucy was referring to when she made her first call in forever a couple weeks ago.

my brother's mother-in-law has cancer. the kick-you-in-the-face-and-cackle-while-you-die kind. she got diagnosed about a year ago with hodgekins or non-hodgekins....i'm not positive. whatever's worse, i guess. regardless, something's ravaging her body with a fierce intensity. she's probably not gonna win this battle no matter how much of a tough bitch she is. that may sound a little harsh, but her and i have quite a history. i'm having a hard time deciding how i feel about it. i mostly feel bad for my brother and his family. no matter how i feel about her, she's still part of their family and it must suck to see anyone suffer the way she is. i won't go into detail here, but trust me - it's NOT pretty.

milly's mom had a couple rounds of chemo over the summer and fall, but then caught pneumonia. she checked herself out of the hospital to come down to be with family for xmas and basically stayed in bed the whole time. then, after she got home, i guess they had to call 911 because she couldn't breathe. she was taken into the hospital, then med-evac'd to a hospital near here where they do her kind of cancer treatment. they did a body scan to find that not only had the cancer come back big time, but she also has a leaky valve in her heart. this means they wouldn't do another round of chemo until she has surgery on her heart, which she couldn't do because of the pneumonia. isn't that just the sourest pickle you ever plucked?


weekly body scans had become par for the course, and the next one she had showed the cancer is more aggressive than they thought. milly's mom decided to go for the chemo after being given two months to live. she then decided that if the weekly body scan showed no improvement that she wanted to stop treatment. i'm pretty sure she's since recanted that desire, but milly is still out at the hospital every day to visit her because she took a leave of absence from her job.

the money situation for them is screwy. milly's money won't start coming back in for another couple weeks, and my brother harry had to go back to work early. see, he was on e.i. for a perpetual bad back, but only recives 45% of his wage. with milly's cashflow m.i.a., he had to make sure nothing suffers, especially considering no one really knows how long this is going to last.....or what milly's gonna be like when her mom finally kicks it. they have two kids, 12 & 16, that need to be cared for and attended to, and harry doesn't get home until 6 or 7 every night. and even then, he climbs right into his 6 pack and a doobie while tending to the horses, chickens and dogs.

i tried to go out and give a hand and brought them a bunch of groceries, but that was short lived. see milly's family is crazy, and NOT in a fun way. there are so many stories i could tell, but honestly, i want to do my best to forget them. milly's been in our lives for 22 years now, so there's probably bullshit over flowing that pandora's box. there's just one unforgivable thing in particular her mom did that completely scars my view of people (mostly her). that's what's making it so hard for me to care about her. the karma kops'll get ya! milly's aunt is staying at their house, and harry thought it would be best if i stayed away for the time being. see, the falling out milly's mom and i had was a catalyst for that whole family's fuck ups to come boiling to the surface and they all had discord up until the cancer thing came about. i say if you don't wanna be classed as a classless fool, then have some fucking class. but anyway, that doesn't take away from the fact that i'm hurting for harry, milly, my niece and nephew. i may not be able to go there while milly and her aunt are there, but my first reaction was this:

*** (c) ***

heartstrings

i'm afraid to make the phone ring
for fear it will stop your heart
my parallel reality vicarious here -
tries to imagine, but withdraws with a start

never any past shall cross my soul in this
any request i will own
half my heart breathes in your house -
i shall due care as it is my own

with one step back i observe the race
and pray with a heart on loan -
for when the chips lay down &
you're on broken ground
that you'll know where your heart is going

(c) teague.
~cb'09~
(for milly)
***

so that's what's going on in other areas of my life, and why i have the pic i do for my profile. my heartstrings are stretched.

a friend like hades on the day from hell

holy christ.
fairly succinct? definitely, yes. let me explain:

jesus. i'm writing this in shots in between the toilet festivals that have been going on today. jack is sick. as in- very. i got a call from his school's secretary this morning saying that i should "immediately pick up my son - he is vomiting." ...and by that, she meant he had vomited in the classroom, down the hall, and on the bathroom floor. i get there, and the covering custodian (who is 5 months pregnant, by the by) is cleaning up the loveliness. man oh, man. that's always a joy, hey?

so i bring my pukey boy home with the two year old in tow and he proceeds to climb right up into his bed. i could barely get him changed because he was so sleepy, and then maybe half an hour later he ralphs all over his bed! so, i had to get that all cleaned up. hah! MORE laundry! i tried to get jared to lay down for a nap, but he wasn't havin' ANY of that. instead, he decided to fall asleep behind my back at around 4pm while i was cleaning a puke bowl for the 8th time! now he's gonna be up until 11! i let him sleep because, well, i needed a freakin' break! i really am trying to keep them separate, because i want to avoid having two retchers if at all possible.

have i mentioned that tharon is gone for work for two days? yeah. the loveliness spews, pours, gushes and glows over here! you're jealous, i know. it's ok. i called him this morning, but he didn't get the message until after 3 this afternoon. he actually didn't even listen to his message. he just called me unknowing about his boy - not that he could do anything, i guess, but still...i know i wouldn't like it if i was informed of a day long pukorama after the fact!

and here's another shovel full: tharon and i got to talk for maybe five minutes, and then the POWER went out for almost two hours! i had no landline 'cause it's digital, thought i should save my cell battery just in case, and was starting to light candles to assess the dinner situation when it finally came back on. wow. that would've sucked huge - to go all night? brutal. i'm not sure what the problem was, but i contemplated heading to my mother's. i must've been a bit worried for that to happen! i actually haven't been able to get ahold of her all afternoon, and i'm not really sure what to do.

i was thinking i should take jack to the hospital, and i still might. he has no fever but is breathing fast, which would indicate an infection as opposed to a virus. if it starts coming out his butt, i'm outta here to get it tested. there was a time that we had jack in the hospital for an h.compilobacteria-somethin' infection in his tummy, and that sorta thing causes the ultimate loveliness of death, so i'm not taking any chances. the whole waiting room thing doesn't affect us yet, 'cause they take little kids in right away....especially if there are stomach contents involved.
i really wish tharen were here, instead of "worrying" his time away in the motel pub while watching the game! at least he'll get a good night's sleep tonight and can take over tomorrow! the job they're at is a union site, so they get kicked off the site by 3pm, which means he should be home around 7.....here's hopin'!

but at least i have good friends....yeah right! i got a call from one in particular, and i tell ya....if i could have reached through the phone to strangle her, i would've. my word, she irritates me! concurring with one of janis' recent blogs, weak women repulse me, and she be one of 'em. not janis, the other one....let's call her lucy. see, lucy's loose. she never used to be, but has since gone pathetic slutzo after splitting with her baby daddy of 13 years.

i've known her for almost 20 years. met in high school, and i was her 'cool' friend. well, that's what she says, but i think she was right. especially if compared to her. nasty, i know. sad, but true. she's (was) an awesome person, but i didn't really hang out with her all that much. i suppose our friendship budded in foods class after regina quit school. after all, i needed another smoking partner! lucy's the one who told everyone my metallica story, and still does! she's crazy.

wanna know what else makes her crazy? blowing off her nearest, dearest, oldest friends so she can beg attention from a fucking cokehead. that's right, cokehead. powder king, snort face, jack crack, rock jock - as in: cuckoo for the coca. we lost touch here and there, but always wound up talking again. the longest stretch of not being in touch over two years was because she had to follow her baby daddy on a run from some house owners who suddenly had their prized uh...tomatoes go missing. can you fucking believe it?

so anyway, the move north wreaks havoc on their relationship, and soon enough, all the stories come pouring out....he spends all their money on coke! they didn't even have a rent where they were living, but they regularly went without things while living in a house that wasn't suitable for the rats. she high tails it outta there on the presumption that she's coming to take care of her ailing grandparents, but who the fuck leaves their kids to care for family members that already have tons of family around? yeah, come visit....but she was here for 2 months!...and then came back again! see, while she was gone the first time, he had gotten comfy with some broad. and if you can believe it, she justified to me how this man stealing hussy could go in and sit with her kids...cuddling for movies, planning for birthdays....FUCKING HER MAN!?! i seriously started losing respect for her back then....she wasn't the kind of person i thought she was. i thought she had standards and morals. i thought that's why i liked her.

she decides she's leaving for good and moving back to this area, but can't go back to her previous town 'cause of the, you know, tom-rip. so she's out in a way further suburb and i haven't seen her except for when i go out there. one of the few times she did come here, she brought one of her coke heads with her and he fucking left some in the tent of ours they slept in! FUCK ME! that shit does NOT happen here. marijuana? yes. synthetic powdered pathetic? no. so, i would've reclaimed my adoration for her had she been a true strong woman and told him to eat it...but no. she kept doing him. i found out that all the time i never saw her 'cause of this guy she was just 15 minutes away trying to be cute enough to entice him out of his four walls to no avail. apparently this dude never wanted to do anything. he would do blow while sitting home alone with her, and she insists she doesn't do it. i'm not sure if i believe her. she'll do anything to be liked, apparently. she even asked me about ass sex cuz she thought it would keep dude happy enough to not do rails. fucking moron. you're only supposed to do that if he's EARNED the treat!

seriously, though. she's now (AND STILL!) trying to fuck some dude who she tried for months to be in a relationship with. granted, they did have a casual screwing affair, but she lives her life around it. she is not aware of the actual ground rules of a 'no strings' 'casual other', so she unknowingly broke every single one of them. THIS guy got caught red dicked screwing some other chick. lucy throws a fit, but is STILL trying to get this guy. and the ultra pathetic thing? he won't cheat on the twat he's with now, which is the one he 'cheated' with. she's insisting that it can be secret. and he won't do it. huh. i don't wanna be mean, here, but clue the fuck in!

i've been avoiding talking to her for a few weeks now. she's been calling me to make herself feel better about a situation that's going on in my life right now.maybe i'll write about that tomorrow. but anyway, while i'm on the phone with her, she's passive-aggrasively trying to make ME feel bad that i haven't responded to her. FUCK ME! she said in a message a couple weeks ago: "dude, i'm so sorry.....i had no idea.....whatever you need, i'm there for ya...." my non-verbal response to her was: "dude, you had no idea 'cause YOU'RE NEVER AROUND!" anyways, she still tried her shit even after i told her about the day i'm having! fucking retard. so i got off the phone fairly fast. it was the one time today that i was glad to hear damon yelling out for help. after hearing that she's still trying with that guy pretty much turned me off. at first i thought i might like to talk to her finally, but no. after the pathetic info and the guilt trip, i would've MUCH rather cleaned another puke bowl.

jack's finally sleeping now....it's after 11pm. he layed on the living room floor literally ALL day. and the puking! at least a dozen times. my poor, sweet guy. every time i lay with him, i imagine pulling all the germies into my body. i can deal. i'm a machine.

o - and tharen and i had an argument 'cause he's a drunk fuck. i'll tell you about that later, or else it would be it would be a giant blob of black tar hate right now. trust me.