sprung

thought i'd better check in. not too much going on, but i want to stay close to the computer for a few. see, my old friend's wife seems to have gone missing. they live a province away, but i still can't tear myself away just yet. i sent him a message saying i wanted to copy her picture and put it out to the people i know and that i had this dream last night.

fuck. they don't happen often, but to borrow a term: when it does, it do. (thanx janis....miss u, btw...) not much happened in the dream, and i didn't even make sense of it at the time. i originally put it off as the wine and lobster i imbibed with last night for my 6th anniversary dinner with tharen....which was awesome. fuck, can i cook!?! i took yesterday to remind him why he married me with a clean house, meal to drool for, cared for kidlets, and some sweetness. heh heh, i mentioned that to him and he said, "that's not why!"....but i went on to explain that it wasn't about why he LOVES me, just why he married me! heh heh...anyway, it was a pretty good day, aside from me still being ill. (that's why i haven't been on here much...my arms feel like lead cannisters....much too heavy to type with)

so - the dream. okay. i've never met the missing woman. my friend married her just over a year ago in his new town. he has a fairly successful business going on, and apparently they don't fight too much. just normal, aside from the whole 'open relationship' bullshit (which i don't get). i'm only in contact with him because we found each other (not sure who found who) on the social networking site we use. we caught up a bit, had a few interactions because of mutual friends, but that's it. no general contact at all, but i have seen a couple wedding pictures of the wife. and then i have this dream.

by a lake on a porch. brunette female in a grey zip hoodie sitting there crying. undecypherable yelling from a trailer. skip to next scene of a crowd of people dividing into groups.

and that's it. which isn't much. like i said, i didn't make anything of it at first. i thought it might even be me, but couldn't figure out why. THEN. i get onto networking site and see that my old friend seems to be missing his wife since yesterday noon when she went for a walk. cops involved and all that. fuck me if my head didn't start screaming into my brain!

i don't really know what to do about it....it's kind of hard to tell people that you have dreams like this. and i do. for real. dreamed deaths of uncle, grandpa, god-brother, princess diana, jfk jr., and a friend, among others. there also have been situations that happened in my dreams. and deja-vu? ALL THE TIME! knowing who it is when the phone rings? ALL THE TIME! gut feelings about people and been totally right? ALL THE TIME! i swear to god, or whomever the fuck needs to be sworn at. as if i would want to admit i can do that. but i have.

perhaps this is why my head always feels like it's yelling at itself.
huh.

oh ya - my title. i was walking around in my yard and noticed that spring seems to have sprung. i'm gonna have to work on getting that laptop if you ever wanna hear from me in the summer! donations?

story time

i don't even know where to begin! should i just dive in and tell a story, or should i tell you about myself? why don't i just tell you a story about myself?
i'm 35, married almost 6 years, have two boys, 5 & 2 3/4, and freakin' TIRED! i don't have a job outdside the house, aside from the minimal volunteering i try to do. (at least I think it's minimal...apparently it's a helluva lot more than some people will get off their asses and do, so i've learned) i like a clean, if not, tidy house, but usually these days i'm thinking this place is three minutes away from disaster.
my husband, tharon, 40, is a hard worker, playful dad, faithful (i think) and most of the time a respectable husband. we most DEFINITELY have issues though, as you're sure to read. we met through someone we used to know around nine years ago with a mutual attraction, but nothing happened until about a year later when we 'hooked up', if you will. it was a fairly turbulent ~all be it passionate~ relationship and i'll tell you right now - i'm not sure why i married him. there were lies, cheating and a general NOT caring about my person. i cannot explain that attraction. i took more shit from him than i ever got from all boyfriends comBINED! i finally decided to move on and dropped off all his things at his house and didn't take his calls for a week. miraculously, things began to change. the bad things weren't happening anymore, and we decided i'd move in with him. i also was facing having to move anyway, because the house i rented got sold due to an aging owner's liquidation.
okay, so i move to tharen's a little sooner than we expected, but we had already talked about it. (oh, and i was stupid in love with kahlua clouds in my coffee.)
except it was right across the street from a bar that everyone we socialized with hung out at on any given night. eSPECIALly the weekends, oh my f god. i had just gotten laid off from a decent salary, tharon always had magic pocketfuls of money, and it was june. can you say memorable summer?
anyway, the summer of royal rock love crashed and burned miserably, but i digress - that's a story for another time. the important thing is we came out stronger for it and are still together. i got my fantasy wedding and two perfect baby boys, jack and jared. we live in an old and drafty, but quaint house with a big yard, fairly central to surrounding suburbs and city, and i have an....interesting life. stay tuned....