superstardom

so i just got a message from a friend on a social networking site we all use. technically, it's for tharon, but i couldn't help but reply before i even talked to him this time. contrary to their belief that i just go ahead and make decisions FOR him, he usually hears about it all and has the same response. when our opinions differ, i go with his decision because it IS his decision. there have been times where i didn't respond to the juvenile banter specifically because tharen said not to...he always knows before i send something in response to them....except for this time, and i only did because we've already been through this with their management team production proposal.

i talk to tharon usually several times throughout the day because otherwise it's hard having a conversation while the boys are accosting their daddy after being gone all day. therefore, me being appointed as tharon's logistical whore and daytime jackass liason, i do the communication. the message was between a friend and each of the guys in the band which i will name.....'tossing logic'. if you knew the scenario, you'd accept that this is a fully deserved name. they toss logic all the time for the sake of being right, more important, or just plain louder.

anyway, he said exactly what i said (no) before i even told him i replied, so it's good to know we're on the same page, heh heh. at first half the guys were against, but read on:

see, a handful of months ago, tharon's band was offered a contract with a ummm, DISreputable agency. it's not even that they have NO reputation, but the one they have is questionable, sketchy and spotty. trust me, i looked into them. and by that, i mean i found out more than google can tell me. i'm just not interested in attending functions where we have to worry about being shot because of the other talents' entourages throwin' shapes over a homie deal gone bad. all the singer, waylon (named for the fact that he's always wailin' about somethin') thinks about is the fact that he's known him for some time and doesn't wanna think bad things. oobie boobie, grow up. your good friend got involved with the wrong company, waylon! but i can't blame him for being hopeful. this is his first band, for cryin' out loud!

beside the sour tone i detected upon my mention of the company in question to my sources, the contract they gave them to look at was retarded. severely. severely fucking retarded is what i loudly said! then, they went and paid $500 to their industry lawyer to tell them just that. i think his exact quote read, "run as fast as you can & stay far, farrrrr away from these guys." but why would you want to listen to me? teague's just a drunken freak takin' on like the paparazzi and flappin' her yap when you act like a freak. don't want me to call you a fucking embarrasment? then don't cry on my doorstep.

anyhoo, the management/promoter/pigslut guy has taken it upon himself to market the band and for reasons unknown discuss this with the friend -whom i shall name suzy, as in suzy mary sunshine. she has zero experience outside of the real world...she worked at the gas company for 25 years before taking an offered buyout while her 18 year old son was being held while on trial for murder. yeah, that's what i said. i'll further contemplate the confusion that is her later, but suffice it to say that she has better things to worry about. she's the kind of woman who needs distracters from real life so as not to have to deal.

anyway, so we'll see how that pans out. tharen's at practice/bitch session right now. i guess the guys want to hear the scumbag out, and we'll see if my friend is still going to be involved. well, waylon would sign anything 'cause he's a puppy. the drummer, Monty, is getting old and has never been on a 'tour' past the valley. lead guitar? well, martin's been past africa already, & he would take a day off work for the opportunity to skepticize! lol! anyway, they just say they wanna promote tossing logic. i'd say eat me, but then, i'm not in the band.

janis told me a few things about uh.......clay's his name, the music group dude....apparently he's quite a dirty dog, that fucker! nothing that would affect musicianship, however the kind of cheap ass, fuck you over, slick prick shit that makes me wanna retch. not interested in dealing with fucking gross pose boyeeez to make a living. they (t.l.) are so above it, but can't see how high up they are because of the massive cloud of suckwhine they're sitting on. i SO wanna tell you who they are so you can see all the media they're in. i'm talkin' weekly t.v., big budget movies, respectable sales, online merch store, active gigging, radio play...they have: 2 albums, investors, production crew, and a networks comin' out their sweaty ying yang. so what's the problem?

i think i feel above it because tharen's always got other stuff going on. and some of the songs he's written give me a tingling....and not just in my pants! i know what he's capable of, and wonder what could be happening if he were more ambitious. he likes to talk about having no time now, which is totally true, but why not before? i mean he was 33 before i came around, and i've never stopped him from jamming or recording weeks. i do nothing but encourage it unless i get one of my gut feelings about people. i'm not sure why, but it's usually right. anytime i've not listened to my gut is when i've gotten myself into trouble. all i have to do is learn how to stop for a fucking second sometimes to give my gut an opportunity to speak!

i KNOW t.l. can be good, but i don't know if it will be. i'm not sure how much more time should be wasted on this project but alas, it is not up to me. maybe one day i'll let him make me sing and we shall enchant the globe, HA! he says it's good, but i'm, not sure i have the cahonays (?) to entertain a crowd knowingly. one at a time, baby, one at a time.

g'night, silles

sweet, sweet quiet...i love you

it's quiet in here again. jared is napping and jack is over at his friend's house. we were invited too, but i knew i wanted this free time. i really, really, really enjoy my alone time. i used to crank tunes, but now i like it quiet at least for a while, even when the baby isn't here sleeping. if you don't have little boys, you have no idea how constant the frenzied play is or loud it gets. got girlie spawn? squeals aside, you've got it pretty easy until your little miss attitude pants turns into a raging banshee at the tender age of 11. one minute you'll want to cradle her as you snuggle in bed for one of the last few times followed shortly by wanting to brick up the window leaving only 6" holes for fresh air and the doorway to her room with easy food tray access. ensure that phone and computer possession are hers, and she might not even notice. gimme a minute and i'll figure out the bathroom situation....

anyhoo...boys! yeah. they're awesome and i'm glad i have them rather than the all to common hormone bucket syndrome suffered by the female of the species. i'm just not really sure how long this whole autopilot thing is gonna work! lol! at this time i choose not to delve into why i'm positive i got that opinion because of how things were with my own mom. i just don't wanna repeat that, is what i'm sayin'. my own monthly withdraw/attack ebb and flow coupled with my mother's menopausal mania was a treat to endure, holy christ.

*(*this pause was brought to you by a.o.a.d.d*)*
***(*adult onset attention deficit disorder*)***

so. iconoclast, hey? yes, that's a word i like alot. it's kinda how i am most of the time. loosely translated, it means i hate stupid shit and i have an articulate side. it means have a sense of my own ideals and don't parrot popular notions. i live up to what i believe in, as should everyone. if i think something is fundamentally wrong, i've been known to do something about it. through the process of life i've learned that maybe sometimes i could've spoken louder, and sometimes not at all. i've had times where i got too emotionally involved in things that really aren't affecting me and it wound up hurting me instead of solving anything. at one point i thought i should just not care about people anymore. if i wasn't involved with anyone, then i wouldn't know how stupidly their actions were affecting their lives.

Iconoclast

I*con"o*clast\, n. [Gr. e'ikw`n image + ? to break: cf. F. iconoclaste.]1. A breaker or destroyer of images or idols; a determined enemy of idol worship. 2. One who exposes or destroys impositions or shams; one who attacks cherished beliefs; a radical.

Synonyms: critic, dissident, image-breaker, non-conformist, questioner, rebel, revolutionist, sceptic

not long into that, i figured out it was wrong thinking. aside from being human and hard wired for interaction, i have kids who need good people around them. people who make good choices most of the time, and have morals as strong as mine. not identical to mine, but as strong. that's important to me. i just remove characters as i see fit and keep living for the three most important men on the planet. but i'm still an iconoclast in every way i take it to mean. there are also definitions of destroying one's religious symbols. it's not like i would vandalize humanity, burn a cross, or some other cretin-like activity, but i'm also not gonna get into any well deserved debate about a book written by a bunch of guys [read: the bible] unless it's before discussing evolution while we picnic beside a documented 10,000 year old bog that's not too far from my house. believe in what you want, just don't tempt me with ugly. i don't like it and i won't have it.

i wrote some prose once about religion. it starts out...'i don't believe there's not a god', includes the phrases, 'if there IS a god i don't wanna piss him off', and 'the human religion', and ends with, 'i am my own church. welcome to my temple.' somebody once told me that was egotistical, and i couldn't agree more. yeah, i have an ego, why don't you? there's nothing wrong with liking yourself. more people should, and maybe there would be less misplaced pride spinning this carnival ride of a planet.

i've got to get my poop in group now. some quick housework, then off to get jack and the babysitters to bring home. i'll have more time this afternoon to get things done in the basement. i need to get that project overwith before i have an aneurysm, and it's comin'...i can feel it!

bathroom solution:
move her room to one beside a bathroom wall, take said wall down, and complete brick laying procedure. trust me, it'll be easier that way.

home is where it's at

i've made headway on the home front!
yesterday i kicked ass doing a million things (all at the same time, even!) and reminded myself how awesome i really am...heh heh...or how much of a SLACKER! there were so many little things that i never have the time to do, what with all the enthusiastic picking of my nose [read: voracious reading] and smelling honeysuckle dew drops [read: smoking] i do on a daily basis. i regularly employ contemplation of using my night owl super powers - pulling all nighters to accomplish things such as totaling receipts, cleaning the basement, computer upkeep/catch-up, or organizing the 15,964 toys we have so they're not just a jumbled pile of crap that can't be played with. and man, this place needed a dusting! in my defence, though, this is THE dustiest house i've EVER lived in - and there have been many abodes. approximately 15, to exactly guess while hedging a bet. i lived in the same house with my parents between the ages of one and when i got the hell out, so most of the nomad-type behaviour occurred in the first 5 or 6 years sans apron strings.

i suppose i could figure it out....i actually have them all written down somewhere in one of my lists. i moved out about 42 seconds after i turned 19 on january 1st, the year nineteen ninety-wicked! my first place was the apartment my best friend and i had fantasized about for three years. we naively explored our ideals and made sisterhood promises never to be drawn assunder. yeah fucking right! it took the hussy patrol only a few short months to annoy the fuck out of me.

eating my food, not paying bills (including a phone bill worth 8oobux) or rent for two of the four (4!) months, showing up to mess the place with her cock du jour, using my laundry soap and stealing my clothes approximately once a week, and generally fucking with my impression of people on a whole. i mean, this was supposed to be my BEST friend, right? and we were...oh my god, were we ever! we were always together since the day we met. even still, though she offered to return my UNDERWEAR, i just could not continue in the farce. i was pissed righteously off. and let's be clear - i have zero problem being righteous when it comes to shit like stealing my much stretched mother love bone tapes. you don't fuck around with a girl's 90's love rock! she (let's call her.....regina) had criticized my love of seattle based ear fodder many times. she looked me up and down with my mudhoney t-shirt, lovingly frayed cut offs worn over black tights with 18-hole doc martin's throwing my feet forward on every beat matt cameron ever threw... and scoffed.

in re-jay-jay's defence, that was coming from a girl who had influenced me at one era in my life to wear white short tights over a white thong while sportin' a teeny cropped cherry red sweater, slouch socks and black l.a. gears & boppin' to either skid row, britny fox, or l.a. guns . i may not be over endowed with jiggly northern slopes, (thank GAWD) but thanx to several years of gymnastics, dance, free weights, and not being a lazy fucker, everything i did have was in exactly the right spot. yes, i am one of the original and rare pre-millenium early 1990 thong wearers! (- but i wore them even before that cun- oops, i mean regina came around...haHA, just not after she 'borrowed' them! *pickle face* ew!)

i met regina in foods class circa mid-september, grade 11. i was up to my usual shenanigans of not attending classes the first week or so of every year -

"pardon me, where was i? well, my class got switched, so i think i might've been in mechanics at that time yesterday, sorry! i've got things straightened out now, don't worry..."

- and i sat at the only available spot left....beside regina. okay - first impressions? she's super fox hot, seemed cool and was lookin' at me the same way i was lookin' at her. a little bitchy and territorial, but with a swift recognition that combat would be futile - we were equals. it was l-u-v luv at first sight. (i'm not usually competitive, but if someone wants to pull rank on me? oooee, mama, you'd better be good!) for some reason probably also relating to attendance, i had wound up with one of the much coveted huge lockers to myself and moved her in promptly. we were then inseparable for the next few years, save for time spent with respective boyfriends which came and went.

she and i had quite a time, we did. starting at 16, we went to many, many concerts, stayed in the city, went to bars, had musician boyfriends, and had an avid common interest in rear of the stage festivities that seemed to happen after shows. that would turn out to be the bane of our relationship. i can honestly tell you that not even one boob was flashed, nor cock was sucked by myself to get anywhere i ever got to go. that was regina's department. some of her more notable fucks range from popular local rock stars (unnamed with purpose for protection of my secret identity) (hey, where's my remote control?...) to the likes of sebastian bach and jason newstead, among others. a new generation of pamela des barres, groupie-dom if you will...as a matter of fact, that's what i should've named her! lol, but regina suits her, trust me.

most of the reason behind our demise was one mr. newstead, sadly enough. she was calling him in places like fucking ohio and fucking missouri in the fucking afternoon, damn it! and she was gone half the time because she was driving all over who knows where to follow him around with some other chick she met in alaska doing the same thing, only the other cun- oops, i mean regina's friend was with lars and multiple roadies.

regina and i went to metallica's 1990(?) snake pit tour show and got spotted by roadies playing hackey sack out back of the venue. of course we were back there by the busses, 'cause that's where the cool kids hung out. they asked if we wanted pit passes for the big area in the middle of the stage reserved for vip's and high cash customers. after calmly and rationally discussing it we said in perfectly coifed unison:

"FUCK YEAH!"

fast forward to near the end of the show and jason newstead's guitar tech came and introduced himself while holding out two round back stage passes. we kinda looked at each other in disbelief - nay, SHOCK - and came out with another perfectly coifed, all be it sweatier (thank you, i.c.e. mist):

"FUCK YEAH!"

fast forward to us sitting and waiting and waiting and sitting and almost wanting to head home 'cause we still had a long drive. we actually got stopped by the same guitar tech dude (i keep thinking his name was rick. no, for real...) when we got up to go. he told us we had to stick around, and not long after, their royal metal majesties graced us with their presence. well, everyone but james. we never did see him again outside of show times through our adventure, at least the time i was around for, anyway. he had taken off to go on a fishing trip at a nearby popular stretch of river just outside the suburb i grew up in. same spot i used to fish with my dad, actually.

anyway, to slap on another thick layer of shock, jason hands his tech a room key and says, "just in case," then turns to us and asks if we would like to join them at their hotel for a party. uhhhh, as soon as i picked my jaw up, i said:

"FUCK YEAH"

so, the next little portion is a bit of a blur, but it mostly consisted of regina and i running and leaping to her car and squealing. we pulled into the underground parking at the hotel and when we put the card key up to the thingee, we heard:

"good evening, mrs, case. will you be needing assistance to your room this evening?"

well, smack me up and call me a whore. jason didn't say 'just in case.' he said, 'justin case', get it? mrs. justin case? just in case.....just in case you wanna make some little metal girl's dreams come true, hand her this key and give her a week she'll never forget! while straightening out our autographed slash-sided spandex shorts and half tops, we got into our room and tried to calm the fuck down. we stayed with them that night, drinking with jason and lars and their crew in one of their rooms. the next day we hung out mostly with jason going shopping and eating, all the while with two to four bodyguards with us who even stood outside bathroom doors and escorted us to the ice things in the hallways. weeeeeeeeird. cool, but weeeeeeeeird.

there was another show that night, so after while we were waiting , instead of sticking around in the mess of other fans in the reserved area, we got to go for a totally insane cab ride with rick. he was giving the cabbie 20's to go through red lights and make other such illegal moves while cranking his stereo. it was hilarious! i hope he wasn't too terrorized. though the probable extra 200 bones he had in his pocket by the end of the ride made it all worth while.

the next day we had to head back home, but had plans to meet them in seattle with rick's personal cell brick #, then onto portland and oakland, ca. we had so much fun that week on such a surreal level. sometimes it still seems like it was a dream or something, even when i look at all the autographed passes, t-shirts, programs, and hotel stuff. we didn't have a camera to use, so we bought a couple throw away ones. one of them had fucky film, but we got 5 good shots(which the cun- oops, i mean regina also scooped when she left our apartment the last time) and the other one disappeared into the void on our travels, so i have no visuals, save for the plays in my head. regina had quit school the previous year, actually not long after we met, so she was free to go to alaska and a couple others dates. i, however, had to resume my previous career as a scholar. one day i'll tell you about my high school experience, but right now i'll just throw in the brew that i was an honour roll student. none of my escapades stopped me from letting anyone think i was stupid. usually.

the following year metallica came back on a tour with guns and roses and we got a call from rick, if you can believe it! we had tickets and a room waiting for us! tres cool, non? say it with me now:

"FUCK YEAH"

so anyway, long story short, this was when regina racked up my phone bill and went to butt fuck, iowa with her new friend that had latched on to her in alaska. luckily, i had a friend who had just bought a 3 bedroom house in a 'burb closer to the big city, which is where i ultimately wanted to be. in the city sucking all the energy in and spitting it out frantically onto a page - paper, a napkin, anything i could find. by that i mean writing. alot of poems and prose, specifically. i rented a room at my friend's house for a few month until i got a place in the city, and moved on.

i've only seen regina a few tmes over the many years since then. at one point we attempted a reconciliation, but she wouldn't pay her fucking phone bill, so i took her to court for it. then she didn't like me very much. awww, poor regina had someone make her be responsible for a change....aww, oobie fucking boobie. eat me. there's a few other tales i could spill about why i named her cun- oops, i mean regina, but i don't feel like it. i wouldn't feel that way without good reason.

so! let that be a lesson to my life mates:
watch your treatment of the fine teague, or you shall be emblazoned with a moniker suitable for many, many jests. for example:
dick, peter, twaterelli, or fuckface.
or regina.

you know that rhymes with vagina, right? and a vagina is sometimes referred to as a cun- oh, never mind.

so much

i really, really, really shouldn't be blogging right now, damn it! i am SUCH a procrastinator, it's pathetic.

really.

i have tons of housework and just picked up my new babysitters (sisters, 13 and 14). they're tharen's workmate's kids and they've known us since b4 the boys were born. they have the boys outside right now, so it's actually quiet in here. they team up quite well, and i can see this working out just fine. there's a mellowish one and a wacknut one, just like mine!

you'll probably find that i tend to write sporadically and at odd hours. keep in mind that i draft-draft-draft, analyze-analyze-analyze before i post. it could very well have taken me three to eleven days to compose whichever post you see. i tend to refer to myself as the spelling police on grammar patrol, so deal with it! ever since i got mommy brain, i am constantly in the process of completing any number of chores, tasks, errands, games, picture or craft projects simultaneously at any given time. trust me - it'll hurt me more than it'll hurt you.
on that note: breaktime! (see?)
ever hear of adult-onset a.d.d.? jeezuz.

~7 minutes later...
i just tried to call my wondermuffin and she's probably got the phone turned off so she doesn't have to hear the beeping from my LAST message! lol! so it's her fault i'm blogging now. actually, you can just go ahead and blame most things on juicycake. she's a trooper! AND she knows what's up, so don't fuck it! (ahem - unLESS she tells you to!)

anyhoo, she's got issues with the pseudonym sera. huh. so now i have to think of a new one for the super duper dork. huh. whatever shall i choose? i wanted to use one particular name, but it would be glaringly, blazingly identifying, so NOPE! then i thought: hmmmm what about hummer? *hahahaha* seriously, it has to do with a gift, but NOPE!

i also have to take into account the conglomerate of US. does KAREN sound good with teague? no. does EVELYN sound good with teague? how 'bout ALICE? NO! well, i was thinking about it and i came up with janis. janis 'n' teague...teague 'n' janis....tj...jt....it'll have to do. it suits her, trust me. joo like?

anyway, onto my new hobby. blogging is a little odd for me. i never really got into the whole cyber community thing. i chat and communicate online with friends and everything, but never felt the need to socialize with strangers, i guess. never had a problem finding a date or plans on a friday night, so i guess i thought i was too busy for that or something. sometimes i think that i might've been better off, though! some of the SHIT i've been through dealing with you humans is revolting! i'm sure you'll hear about some of it, but i'll also fill you in on the good times.

i don't really feel like this is communicating, but i keep in my mind that SOMEONE might read this, so i'm writing to YOU. comment at will, but prepare for my delete if you're rude or completely WAY to concerned with MY life choices.....and i'm not talking about differing opinions - i'm talking about disrespect. i've had enough of that, i tell ya, and i am SO not in the mood. i'm looking for encouragement and critisism...ix-nay on the ackass-jay! if you wanna fail on me, you'd better come up with some good ammo or i'll destroy it. that's just what i do. and i refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person...wrap your head around that. this is ultimately for me, so eat it. i may just keep printouts and publish a hard copy....i've been told more than once that i should compile my brain blurbs...maybe, maybe...now enough with the threats cuz i'm starting to scare myself! *hahaha* it is what it is. judge not, pickle-face!

last night turned out to be some good fun. i got to go on a date with all my boys! tharon's drummer's girlfriend's (!) teenage son had birthday recently and we all went out to a restaurant/pub for a party. there were a few different musician friends doing acoustic sets, and it was perfect for all the kids to run around and have fun. jack was such a little gentleman, opening doors, helping me with my chair and asking me to dance...i was in heaven! except for him peeing his pants not 30 minutes after we arrived, he had an awesome time...we just cleaned him up and had him sit by the fireplace for a while! *hahaha*

little jared took a few to warm up, but as usual turned into his normal screeching monkey self soon enough! he is an entertainer for the masses, i tell ya! it sure was nice to take them to a restaurant scene where they could have fun without getting dirty looks from all the perfect parental units! don't get me wrong, they're normally really good in restaurants, but i mean that we had one whole side of the building to ourselves, so they could have freedom....the waitresses were really good there,and so was the food.....not to mention the entertainment, which i refrain to name. haHA!

a miracle happened last night, too....tharen's band was all in one place together for a SOCIAL event! that NEVER happens, oddly enough. this band has one of the weirder dynamics i've come across in my 20 year career as a band aficionado. aside from rehearsal, they don't really hang out all together. i love the music they make, and that's another odd thing, because they hardly jam it seems! sometimes i wonder how they do it, but i guess that's the magic! i'd love to plug them here, but NOPE! absoLUTEly NOT! i'm sure there will be many a bitch session regarding those pea brained whiners.

again, don't get me wrong - i'd say most of these things to them, but just don't wanna fuckin' HEAR about it! just trust me, you and millions of others would love them. i love them all in their own special way, some more than others, but aside from one (well, two) of them, i could do without. it regularly seems to tharen that he's wasting his time. someone's always whining about something instead of just getting up there and loving it like they say they do. tharen's not even playing the instrument he's been given the gift for, and they act like they're doing him a favour by letting him have one of his own fucking cd's!

that part could be part tharen's fault, too, because he chooses not to discuss the other projects he's always got going on. i think if he did, they might realize he's a lot more valuable and has people knocking on his door willing to PAY. if tharen were to get the golden opportunity, i could totally see them BITCHING about how it affects THEM. i say: GOOD RIDDANCE! *hahaha*
it's hilarious. why can't they just have a good time and not WHINE so fucking MUCH?
me no know, and it hurts my head. and with all the girlfriends, ex's, ex baby daddies, and pathetic going on, sometimes i wanna retch.

so i'm gonna go have another break
byebye4u

story time

i don't even know where to begin! should i just dive in and tell a story, or should i tell you about myself? why don't i just tell you a story about myself?
i'm 35, married almost 6 years, have two boys, 5 & 2 3/4, and freakin' TIRED! i don't have a job outdside the house, aside from the minimal volunteering i try to do. (at least I think it's minimal...apparently it's a helluva lot more than some people will get off their asses and do, so i've learned) i like a clean, if not, tidy house, but usually these days i'm thinking this place is three minutes away from disaster.
my husband, tharon, 40, is a hard worker, playful dad, faithful (i think) and most of the time a respectable husband. we most DEFINITELY have issues though, as you're sure to read. we met through someone we used to know around nine years ago with a mutual attraction, but nothing happened until about a year later when we 'hooked up', if you will. it was a fairly turbulent ~all be it passionate~ relationship and i'll tell you right now - i'm not sure why i married him. there were lies, cheating and a general NOT caring about my person. i cannot explain that attraction. i took more shit from him than i ever got from all boyfriends comBINED! i finally decided to move on and dropped off all his things at his house and didn't take his calls for a week. miraculously, things began to change. the bad things weren't happening anymore, and we decided i'd move in with him. i also was facing having to move anyway, because the house i rented got sold due to an aging owner's liquidation.
okay, so i move to tharen's a little sooner than we expected, but we had already talked about it. (oh, and i was stupid in love with kahlua clouds in my coffee.)
except it was right across the street from a bar that everyone we socialized with hung out at on any given night. eSPECIALly the weekends, oh my f god. i had just gotten laid off from a decent salary, tharon always had magic pocketfuls of money, and it was june. can you say memorable summer?
anyway, the summer of royal rock love crashed and burned miserably, but i digress - that's a story for another time. the important thing is we came out stronger for it and are still together. i got my fantasy wedding and two perfect baby boys, jack and jared. we live in an old and drafty, but quaint house with a big yard, fairly central to surrounding suburbs and city, and i have an....interesting life. stay tuned....