Monday, February 16, 2009

i'm back!'s been a while! i've had a goofy couple weeks, that's for sure! mostly to do with kid's, mine.....YUCK!...but we're all better now.
there was a day last week that i almost took my oldest into the hospital, he was so ill and in pain, poor little guy. turns out it was just a 24hr thing, i guess because the next day he was full of beans! which is good, because tharen had left town for a couple work days the morning this all went down. just my luck! stuck with a vomiting sweetnut and a 2 year old wacknut! i didn't start to get ill until the next day, so at least it was spaced out! we never had to share puke bowls! bonus!

when did i write last? it's hard to remember....what HAVE i been up to? let's have a look-see at the calendar here......

tossing logic had a really good show a couple weekends ago. we picked up janis and had a relatively good time, considering that we both felt like ass bags. i had mentioned something about staying home for that one, but tharen gave me one of those sideways looks, so i made the call to try and burn the evil out with booze! the boys were out at my parents' for the whole weekend, so we had most of saturday to lay around and be shmoopy. it was awesome - & i had a great sleep that night!

the hassle with suzy and the record deal dude is over for good, thank GAWD. tharen finally said it in his own words to them so they can get over their oddity with me. i've been asking him to do it for weeks. i don't like answering their messages. black and white. it was funny, too, because as soon as they found out it was him sending the message they stfu! even though we said the same thing! fuck! they just can't seem to get over the fact that i RELAY messages. fuckin' little pissants should really concentrate on not being boring fucking 40 year old musicians instead of bitching at the messenger. as if i have control. fuckin' morons. i'm the one who talks about what tharen says. he's not a talker. fuckin' learn how to read people and quit fumbling through life like a little bitch! whew! that felt great! haha! i'm pretty sure that i'm a touch too much brash sometimes, but seriously.

it's kind of a weird subject because of the sensitive and scattered info we received regarding the two parties involved in the whole music agreement proposition. i've learned over time that it's not best to be spreading other people's stories, because i probably don't know everything. of course i learned that from the reverse experience of having other people assume things about me so OBVIOUSLY with out all the pertinent information.

there, there....don't even assume that you know the whole story even if you've been TOLD you know the whole story. i know i leave things out, or don't even bring it up according to whom i'm speaking with. i can just tell some people aren't worth the bother. and so as not to sound ultra negative....i can tell the ones who ARE worth the bother.... i can make a friend anywhere. if i think it's worth it. my oldest and dearest friend (hmmmn....he shall be monikered...hunter, 'cause i know he would love it) often joked that i made more friends in the town that he lived in than he did. i can't help it. you don't need to know the lastest pop song, trendiest fashion score, quirkiest lines, or even the current state of the (this is my word for politics...c'est clever, oui?--->) POLITWIT waltz - just be REAL!. hence my eclectic mix of connections. i'm a friendly girl! the ones who don't think i'm friendly often have had reason for me to be UNfriendly. what can i say? i'd still rather be me!

just don't piss me off - or at least not be a sucky, whiny, blithering fool when i tell you you've done so! that is just so pathetic, and i have so much more respect for the people who refuse to be fake. i don't see the point. why have a bunch of people that aren't really your friends, but talk as if they are instead of having a few people you KNOW you can rely on? i'd rather treat the lovelies i HAVE with care and then sometimes a little well deserved brashness than hang on to a bunch of nothingness. i expect my friends to be there for me as much as i am (want to be) for them. there's nothing wrong with that, and that's the way more people should be!

i often wonder what life would have been like for me if i didn't have to be so vocal about all the jackass bullshit that goes down! i like to choose good people to be around me nowadays. sometimes i get stuck with some remnants that just ain't cuttin' it anymore, and yes, i guess i get tactless. i think i do it by making myself a not very pleasant person to them just so they'll go away. oh, and i couldn't give a fuck if you don't like my 'tone' when i tell you should take care of what's important. you think i WANT to be the life police? i calls 'em as i sees 'em! haha! shimple shtuff! if you weren't a jackass, i wouldn't be calling you one.!

anyway, i was having a really good day! where did THAT come from?

i have my few good friends for discussing things, and the rest i'll leave for discovery. unLESS i see fit, haha! by that i mean: sometimes i just can't help stickin' my nose in because it's just too ridiculous! like the time my freshly de-junked friend hunter was about to start a relationship with my friend who just got out of the psych ward for irresponsible knivery(!). ya. didn't think that was a good idea and voiced it. they hated on me for it. ya. i can take it, you freak.

anywayyyyyyy...chuckle chuckle, snort snort!

so have i mentioned that i think my eldest son has asperger's syndrome? i don't really have the time to explain what that's all about, but if you look it up, keep in mind that he's on the high end of the spectrum. very confusing thing to figure out, and we're in the process of it right now. i'm sort of on pins and needles, because i know his consulting team is discussing him this very afternoon. i pretty much already know the answer they're gonna give me, but it will sure seem a little odd to have a psychologist, speech pathologist and pediatrician sitting in front of you confirming your fears.

over the last couple of weeks we've had jack at 3 different appointments so they can all do their assessments. very weird thing to be seeking out a label that i don't want my son to have, but need him to have if he needs it!?! understand? yeah, thought so. he's been having issues with being able to do class work, and we're not too sure why. his teacher has suggested he wear a toque in class to help him 'block out' the noise. i chose to take it from the point of view that he needs to learn how to ignore the noise, because the little guy isn't gonna be able to wear a freakin' toque his entire life! i mean, really. does that sound like the advice of a teacher that is already strapped for time and patience for matters such as this? teachers are already stretched way too thin, and i guess my boy is gonna need a little help behind him to make sure he figures out how to accept his own head.

i know what it's like to have so much in your head that you don't know what to do with. did i also ever mention that the more i read about asperger's, the more i find myself? thank god i don't have to leave my babies to go work. more and more all the time, i'm grateful that i'm able to be here to do the job i was meant to do. i often wonder why so many women feel unfulfilled. what's up with that? creating life ain't enough for ya?

my valentine weekend was beautiful. dates with my guys, more diamonds for the stash, and love, sweet love. i love loving, and i love being loved. things are a little different with tharen and i after the last falling out we had. i choose to believe that he realizes how close a call that was. i am so seriously not into wasting time, and would rather be alone than wonder when the next retard convention happens in my living room.....and he knows how to make that right. we don't have many issues after the effects of his drinking. that's the only time we've had a big fight. do the math, honey. booze4u = baaaaaaaad! i don't think i filled you all in on the last fight. well. it was bad, and wouldn't have happened without the hooch, as usual. so, problem solved. sucks that i had to remind him of how i'll feel about all this if it's still going on after i don't need a babysitter anymore. i shouldn't have to worry about loyalties in my marriage, for cryin' out loud! i need someone who's plugged in, or i figure, what's the point?


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