bring on the laughs!

so, yeah. like i said:

whatever.

after yesterday's post, you'd have to figure it could only get better, right? well, for a short time it did....and then it went horribly, horribly wrong! bah! i suppose it could still get worse, so i'd better look for one o' them there blessings soon!

here's today's snapshot of fuckiness:
(brought to you by prozac ~ if anyone would need it, it's ME! SOON!)

1.) i think i bought a super seven six pack lottery ticket this morning at the exact moment that jack puked in the truck, so what does that mean? here's how THAT unfolded:

this morning the boys and i wake up around 6:30 and slowly but surely get out of bed after some cuddling and shushing of the little one. jack's awesome for snuggles, but jared? the crazy one rarely slows his frantic pace. he's a 'jump out of bed and GET 'EM' kinda dude, so i wonder how we're gonna get along! kidding....i'm sure that'll be history once the adolescent monster starts to rear it's sleepy head.

ANYWAY. we have breakfast, silly it up a bit, and then head out for school. jack tells me his stomache kinda hurts, so i tell him he can call me if he needs to. he doesn't. i pick him up after school, and he wants to play...he runs across the field with his friends to the swings, and takes his sweet time getting over to me when i call. i figure things are going good, so i can get started on my mile long list of errands to run and shit that needs to somehow get accomplished before obama's second term....so we plan for an oil change, a shoe shopping trip and then off to pick up daddy! he says he didn't eat his lunch because his tummy kinda still hurts, but that a bit of his water might make him feel better....and it does. for a moment.

i make a stop a my friendly neighbourhood corner store, say hi to simon, grab some vitamin P, smokes, chips, and remember at the last moment to grab a lottery ticket; 'cause you know, i sure FEEL lucky. i hop out of the store, admiring the beautiful day on my way to the truck, and i hear jared yelling something from the truck but i don't think much of it, because he's ALWAYS yelling something. as it turns out, what he was yelling was, "puke, mommy, puke! jack puke in TWUCK!"

i see jack sitting there with his eyes wide open, teeth clenched, and puke all down his lap, down the seat, and bits on the floor. LOVELY! did i mention that i was a voluptuous vomiting vixen this morning? well, this almost sends me over the edge again, and i say, "oh, my guy! okay, okay, i'll get you home right away!" so i whip over to the house, grab towels, and head back out to brave the front. i didn't know how to start! the whole logistical nightmare of puke removal can be a highly complicated endeavor! somehow, i got it done, stripped jack down, and got him in the tub while i finally went out and grabbed jared out of his car seat. poor little dude...i can't say i don't secretly wish he had fallen asleep while waiting, but no such luck. i had to keep them separated!

jack heads off to laze around in my bed, and jared gets busy climbing around the couch configuration we have going on right now, which i must admit rocks for fort assembly. a while later we had to go pick up tharen and jack puked again, but smartmommy brought the bowl! yay, me! he's still laying in bed as we speak. he slept for a bit, but still has no real interest in food or activity. it's been pretty easy keeping him in bed because we're cleaning the carpets, rugs, couch and pillows, so we're telling him everything is wet. he can't stand the noise, so he wants to stay away from it anyway. i'd let him go downstairs to lay on the bed in the playroom, but he'd feel too far away from me and he feels comfiest in my bed, anyway.

so, yeah.
whatever.

2.) my mom was actually going to take the boys this weekend, too! i was gonna get SO much done, and go see my new favorite band that i would TOTALLY love to tell you about....but if jack's still pukey tomorrow, there's no way i can take him out in the afternoon. we shall see...

3.) i found out today that our superwickedawesomecool lawn guy isn't doing residential contracts anymore! BOOOOO! we have to mow our own lawn and that bites 'cause it's HUGE and takes over an hour to do - sometimes TWO! we'd never find someone who would do that for 50 bucks, let alone 25!

BUT! but, but, but!
today's blessing is that he tells me he tore up my cheques from last year's bill he gave me last month, and we can TOTALLY use that money as you know, if you've been following along...

once again, i'm sure there's more, but i sha'nt be boring you with this wretchedness much longer. bear with me! lol!

ch~ill

purely a distraction...

hullo.
yay! jack is feeling better today! i was so happy to wake up from a pretty ok sleep to hear him happy. he's been up and about and giggly and silly and most importantly - NOT PUKING! i won't count my pukey chickens, though...there are still puke bowls placed conveniently about the premises. he had a piece of toast and some ginger ale for breakfast, and it all seems ok so far *touching wood*.

jared has an attitude today though, holy crap! maybe he's getting the evil sickness...and i don't feel too shit hot, either. but hey. i'm a machine, right? ...right? i'm pretty sure i'll be putting him down for a nap fairly shortly to let his little body do whatever it needs to do. besides, tharen will be home in the evening, and he is SO totally the one who's gonna have to worry about bedtimes tonight. that is - IF i even let him in the house. jesus, you have no idea whatta jackass loser he can be. hence, the distraction.

i figured i'd tell you about what else is going on in my life. it's what lucy was referring to when she made her first call in forever a couple weeks ago.

my brother's mother-in-law has cancer. the kick-you-in-the-face-and-cackle-while-you-die kind. she got diagnosed about a year ago with hodgekins or non-hodgekins....i'm not positive. whatever's worse, i guess. regardless, something's ravaging her body with a fierce intensity. she's probably not gonna win this battle no matter how much of a tough bitch she is. that may sound a little harsh, but her and i have quite a history. i'm having a hard time deciding how i feel about it. i mostly feel bad for my brother and his family. no matter how i feel about her, she's still part of their family and it must suck to see anyone suffer the way she is. i won't go into detail here, but trust me - it's NOT pretty.

milly's mom had a couple rounds of chemo over the summer and fall, but then caught pneumonia. she checked herself out of the hospital to come down to be with family for xmas and basically stayed in bed the whole time. then, after she got home, i guess they had to call 911 because she couldn't breathe. she was taken into the hospital, then med-evac'd to a hospital near here where they do her kind of cancer treatment. they did a body scan to find that not only had the cancer come back big time, but she also has a leaky valve in her heart. this means they wouldn't do another round of chemo until she has surgery on her heart, which she couldn't do because of the pneumonia. isn't that just the sourest pickle you ever plucked?


weekly body scans had become par for the course, and the next one she had showed the cancer is more aggressive than they thought. milly's mom decided to go for the chemo after being given two months to live. she then decided that if the weekly body scan showed no improvement that she wanted to stop treatment. i'm pretty sure she's since recanted that desire, but milly is still out at the hospital every day to visit her because she took a leave of absence from her job.

the money situation for them is screwy. milly's money won't start coming back in for another couple weeks, and my brother harry had to go back to work early. see, he was on e.i. for a perpetual bad back, but only recives 45% of his wage. with milly's cashflow m.i.a., he had to make sure nothing suffers, especially considering no one really knows how long this is going to last.....or what milly's gonna be like when her mom finally kicks it. they have two kids, 12 & 16, that need to be cared for and attended to, and harry doesn't get home until 6 or 7 every night. and even then, he climbs right into his 6 pack and a doobie while tending to the horses, chickens and dogs.

i tried to go out and give a hand and brought them a bunch of groceries, but that was short lived. see milly's family is crazy, and NOT in a fun way. there are so many stories i could tell, but honestly, i want to do my best to forget them. milly's been in our lives for 22 years now, so there's probably bullshit over flowing that pandora's box. there's just one unforgivable thing in particular her mom did that completely scars my view of people (mostly her). that's what's making it so hard for me to care about her. the karma kops'll get ya! milly's aunt is staying at their house, and harry thought it would be best if i stayed away for the time being. see, the falling out milly's mom and i had was a catalyst for that whole family's fuck ups to come boiling to the surface and they all had discord up until the cancer thing came about. i say if you don't wanna be classed as a classless fool, then have some fucking class. but anyway, that doesn't take away from the fact that i'm hurting for harry, milly, my niece and nephew. i may not be able to go there while milly and her aunt are there, but my first reaction was this:

*** (c) ***

heartstrings

i'm afraid to make the phone ring
for fear it will stop your heart
my parallel reality vicarious here -
tries to imagine, but withdraws with a start

never any past shall cross my soul in this
any request i will own
half my heart breathes in your house -
i shall due care as it is my own

with one step back i observe the race
and pray with a heart on loan -
for when the chips lay down &
you're on broken ground
that you'll know where your heart is going

(c) teague.
~cb'09~
(for milly)
***

so that's what's going on in other areas of my life, and why i have the pic i do for my profile. my heartstrings are stretched.

a friend like hades on the day from hell

holy christ.
fairly succinct? definitely, yes. let me explain:

jesus. i'm writing this in shots in between the toilet festivals that have been going on today. jack is sick. as in- very. i got a call from his school's secretary this morning saying that i should "immediately pick up my son - he is vomiting." ...and by that, she meant he had vomited in the classroom, down the hall, and on the bathroom floor. i get there, and the covering custodian (who is 5 months pregnant, by the by) is cleaning up the loveliness. man oh, man. that's always a joy, hey?

so i bring my pukey boy home with the two year old in tow and he proceeds to climb right up into his bed. i could barely get him changed because he was so sleepy, and then maybe half an hour later he ralphs all over his bed! so, i had to get that all cleaned up. hah! MORE laundry! i tried to get jared to lay down for a nap, but he wasn't havin' ANY of that. instead, he decided to fall asleep behind my back at around 4pm while i was cleaning a puke bowl for the 8th time! now he's gonna be up until 11! i let him sleep because, well, i needed a freakin' break! i really am trying to keep them separate, because i want to avoid having two retchers if at all possible.

have i mentioned that tharon is gone for work for two days? yeah. the loveliness spews, pours, gushes and glows over here! you're jealous, i know. it's ok. i called him this morning, but he didn't get the message until after 3 this afternoon. he actually didn't even listen to his message. he just called me unknowing about his boy - not that he could do anything, i guess, but still...i know i wouldn't like it if i was informed of a day long pukorama after the fact!

and here's another shovel full: tharon and i got to talk for maybe five minutes, and then the POWER went out for almost two hours! i had no landline 'cause it's digital, thought i should save my cell battery just in case, and was starting to light candles to assess the dinner situation when it finally came back on. wow. that would've sucked huge - to go all night? brutal. i'm not sure what the problem was, but i contemplated heading to my mother's. i must've been a bit worried for that to happen! i actually haven't been able to get ahold of her all afternoon, and i'm not really sure what to do.

i was thinking i should take jack to the hospital, and i still might. he has no fever but is breathing fast, which would indicate an infection as opposed to a virus. if it starts coming out his butt, i'm outta here to get it tested. there was a time that we had jack in the hospital for an h.compilobacteria-somethin' infection in his tummy, and that sorta thing causes the ultimate loveliness of death, so i'm not taking any chances. the whole waiting room thing doesn't affect us yet, 'cause they take little kids in right away....especially if there are stomach contents involved.
i really wish tharen were here, instead of "worrying" his time away in the motel pub while watching the game! at least he'll get a good night's sleep tonight and can take over tomorrow! the job they're at is a union site, so they get kicked off the site by 3pm, which means he should be home around 7.....here's hopin'!

but at least i have good friends....yeah right! i got a call from one in particular, and i tell ya....if i could have reached through the phone to strangle her, i would've. my word, she irritates me! concurring with one of janis' recent blogs, weak women repulse me, and she be one of 'em. not janis, the other one....let's call her lucy. see, lucy's loose. she never used to be, but has since gone pathetic slutzo after splitting with her baby daddy of 13 years.

i've known her for almost 20 years. met in high school, and i was her 'cool' friend. well, that's what she says, but i think she was right. especially if compared to her. nasty, i know. sad, but true. she's (was) an awesome person, but i didn't really hang out with her all that much. i suppose our friendship budded in foods class after regina quit school. after all, i needed another smoking partner! lucy's the one who told everyone my metallica story, and still does! she's crazy.

wanna know what else makes her crazy? blowing off her nearest, dearest, oldest friends so she can beg attention from a fucking cokehead. that's right, cokehead. powder king, snort face, jack crack, rock jock - as in: cuckoo for the coca. we lost touch here and there, but always wound up talking again. the longest stretch of not being in touch over two years was because she had to follow her baby daddy on a run from some house owners who suddenly had their prized uh...tomatoes go missing. can you fucking believe it?

so anyway, the move north wreaks havoc on their relationship, and soon enough, all the stories come pouring out....he spends all their money on coke! they didn't even have a rent where they were living, but they regularly went without things while living in a house that wasn't suitable for the rats. she high tails it outta there on the presumption that she's coming to take care of her ailing grandparents, but who the fuck leaves their kids to care for family members that already have tons of family around? yeah, come visit....but she was here for 2 months!...and then came back again! see, while she was gone the first time, he had gotten comfy with some broad. and if you can believe it, she justified to me how this man stealing hussy could go in and sit with her kids...cuddling for movies, planning for birthdays....FUCKING HER MAN!?! i seriously started losing respect for her back then....she wasn't the kind of person i thought she was. i thought she had standards and morals. i thought that's why i liked her.

she decides she's leaving for good and moving back to this area, but can't go back to her previous town 'cause of the, you know, tom-rip. so she's out in a way further suburb and i haven't seen her except for when i go out there. one of the few times she did come here, she brought one of her coke heads with her and he fucking left some in the tent of ours they slept in! FUCK ME! that shit does NOT happen here. marijuana? yes. synthetic powdered pathetic? no. so, i would've reclaimed my adoration for her had she been a true strong woman and told him to eat it...but no. she kept doing him. i found out that all the time i never saw her 'cause of this guy she was just 15 minutes away trying to be cute enough to entice him out of his four walls to no avail. apparently this dude never wanted to do anything. he would do blow while sitting home alone with her, and she insists she doesn't do it. i'm not sure if i believe her. she'll do anything to be liked, apparently. she even asked me about ass sex cuz she thought it would keep dude happy enough to not do rails. fucking moron. you're only supposed to do that if he's EARNED the treat!

seriously, though. she's now (AND STILL!) trying to fuck some dude who she tried for months to be in a relationship with. granted, they did have a casual screwing affair, but she lives her life around it. she is not aware of the actual ground rules of a 'no strings' 'casual other', so she unknowingly broke every single one of them. THIS guy got caught red dicked screwing some other chick. lucy throws a fit, but is STILL trying to get this guy. and the ultra pathetic thing? he won't cheat on the twat he's with now, which is the one he 'cheated' with. she's insisting that it can be secret. and he won't do it. huh. i don't wanna be mean, here, but clue the fuck in!

i've been avoiding talking to her for a few weeks now. she's been calling me to make herself feel better about a situation that's going on in my life right now.maybe i'll write about that tomorrow. but anyway, while i'm on the phone with her, she's passive-aggrasively trying to make ME feel bad that i haven't responded to her. FUCK ME! she said in a message a couple weeks ago: "dude, i'm so sorry.....i had no idea.....whatever you need, i'm there for ya...." my non-verbal response to her was: "dude, you had no idea 'cause YOU'RE NEVER AROUND!" anyways, she still tried her shit even after i told her about the day i'm having! fucking retard. so i got off the phone fairly fast. it was the one time today that i was glad to hear damon yelling out for help. after hearing that she's still trying with that guy pretty much turned me off. at first i thought i might like to talk to her finally, but no. after the pathetic info and the guilt trip, i would've MUCH rather cleaned another puke bowl.

jack's finally sleeping now....it's after 11pm. he layed on the living room floor literally ALL day. and the puking! at least a dozen times. my poor, sweet guy. every time i lay with him, i imagine pulling all the germies into my body. i can deal. i'm a machine.

o - and tharen and i had an argument 'cause he's a drunk fuck. i'll tell you about that later, or else it would be it would be a giant blob of black tar hate right now. trust me.