this rollercoaster is making me nauseous

okay it's gotta end now, right? a cycle has come to an end, i'm hoping.

good news about jack...he's feeling better! slowly but surely coming around and getting some sustenance in. his smiley face is there, and he was arguing and cracking jokes, so he'll be ok soon. he's not moving very far from a place to lay down, though.

bad news - this turn around was after i took him to the hospital last night for some industrial strength gravol. he had been puking all day from the time i first heard it at 6:30am when he got up to pee and puke at the same time. i finally made the decision to take him in around 6pm and got home around 1am, asleep around 3am. ( & awake at 6am with jared because tharen has to work as much as possible) more for the bad news file on jack: he has the WORST smelling gas EVER. seriously. i think something died in there.

good news about the truck! i took it in to the dealership because as it turns out, we are just under the wire for the warranty. now we have a new battery! but...

bad news about the truck! we took it in to the neighbourhood shop to get the rear brakes done today and the pads had been worn to less than 30%, so the calipers have to be replaced to the tune of $250. joy. that means that we have to spend around $150 every year just on redoing the rear pads so we don't have that problem again and wreck the rotors. caveat emptor, people...caveat fucking empTOR! what's 'fuck' in latin? anyone? ya know what? caveat VENditor, to the next money grubbing corporate ass jacker who tries to sell me a craftily designed cash sucking vehicle!

good news about the carpet! it's gone! yes!!! my house smells so good. (except for what's wafting from jack's butt) we totally scored with an excellent price on some leftover hardwood from my friend's house down the street, and our landlord is unbelievably paying for it! that is super cool because i was sure he'd say no. i had to phone him to tell him about having to take out the carpet and it didn't hurt to ask, did it?!? we just have to do the work, but it's going to be beautiful, thanks to some help from some good friends and harry! i can't wait 'til next weekend. the boys are going to my mom's so we'll be able to get it all done and hopefully get everything organized before sunday night.

bad news regarding the floors, though. if there has to be a bad side, it's that we can't afford to pay for it until the end of the month. let me explain: we pay up front and deduct from the rent. it's no problem, they say, but i would feel better paying right away- know what i mean?

bad news/good news: muriel is gone. she died yesterday morning just before 8am with her husband and some family near. even though this was anticipated, of course everyone is very sad. i want to be with my brother so bad, and you can hear it in his voice, too. now i can't even go meet him on the dyke because of the truck.

i have an assignment for you:

1.) go hug a loved one and tell them what they mean to you.
2.) forgive a grudge. ( a forgivable one)
3.) read this message i got in an email today.

life is too short.

**update: i know you can't see this...it was an html copy....i will transpose it tomorrow, as i have been out drowning my sorrows this evening and don't have it in me. it's worth it. so was my buddy's show that i went to tonight...all i gotta say is: SDT! (google 'em)

****update #2: transposition complete. it's late sunday night. i'm going to go lay in bed and wrap my head around this while i drift off...

when things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayo jar and the two glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonaisse jar and filles it will golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full - they agreed it was.

The prof then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in the jar, shaking it lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He asked the students again if the jar was full - they agreed it was.

The prof next picked up a box of sand and poured it in the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes'.

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand in the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, there's not anything left for what matters. Pay attention to the hings that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the hosue and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented. The prof smiled. "i'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always time for a couple glasses of wine with a friend."

~

bring on the laughs!

so, yeah. like i said:

whatever.

after yesterday's post, you'd have to figure it could only get better, right? well, for a short time it did....and then it went horribly, horribly wrong! bah! i suppose it could still get worse, so i'd better look for one o' them there blessings soon!

here's today's snapshot of fuckiness:
(brought to you by prozac ~ if anyone would need it, it's ME! SOON!)

1.) i think i bought a super seven six pack lottery ticket this morning at the exact moment that jack puked in the truck, so what does that mean? here's how THAT unfolded:

this morning the boys and i wake up around 6:30 and slowly but surely get out of bed after some cuddling and shushing of the little one. jack's awesome for snuggles, but jared? the crazy one rarely slows his frantic pace. he's a 'jump out of bed and GET 'EM' kinda dude, so i wonder how we're gonna get along! kidding....i'm sure that'll be history once the adolescent monster starts to rear it's sleepy head.

ANYWAY. we have breakfast, silly it up a bit, and then head out for school. jack tells me his stomache kinda hurts, so i tell him he can call me if he needs to. he doesn't. i pick him up after school, and he wants to play...he runs across the field with his friends to the swings, and takes his sweet time getting over to me when i call. i figure things are going good, so i can get started on my mile long list of errands to run and shit that needs to somehow get accomplished before obama's second term....so we plan for an oil change, a shoe shopping trip and then off to pick up daddy! he says he didn't eat his lunch because his tummy kinda still hurts, but that a bit of his water might make him feel better....and it does. for a moment.

i make a stop a my friendly neighbourhood corner store, say hi to simon, grab some vitamin P, smokes, chips, and remember at the last moment to grab a lottery ticket; 'cause you know, i sure FEEL lucky. i hop out of the store, admiring the beautiful day on my way to the truck, and i hear jared yelling something from the truck but i don't think much of it, because he's ALWAYS yelling something. as it turns out, what he was yelling was, "puke, mommy, puke! jack puke in TWUCK!"

i see jack sitting there with his eyes wide open, teeth clenched, and puke all down his lap, down the seat, and bits on the floor. LOVELY! did i mention that i was a voluptuous vomiting vixen this morning? well, this almost sends me over the edge again, and i say, "oh, my guy! okay, okay, i'll get you home right away!" so i whip over to the house, grab towels, and head back out to brave the front. i didn't know how to start! the whole logistical nightmare of puke removal can be a highly complicated endeavor! somehow, i got it done, stripped jack down, and got him in the tub while i finally went out and grabbed jared out of his car seat. poor little dude...i can't say i don't secretly wish he had fallen asleep while waiting, but no such luck. i had to keep them separated!

jack heads off to laze around in my bed, and jared gets busy climbing around the couch configuration we have going on right now, which i must admit rocks for fort assembly. a while later we had to go pick up tharen and jack puked again, but smartmommy brought the bowl! yay, me! he's still laying in bed as we speak. he slept for a bit, but still has no real interest in food or activity. it's been pretty easy keeping him in bed because we're cleaning the carpets, rugs, couch and pillows, so we're telling him everything is wet. he can't stand the noise, so he wants to stay away from it anyway. i'd let him go downstairs to lay on the bed in the playroom, but he'd feel too far away from me and he feels comfiest in my bed, anyway.

so, yeah.
whatever.

2.) my mom was actually going to take the boys this weekend, too! i was gonna get SO much done, and go see my new favorite band that i would TOTALLY love to tell you about....but if jack's still pukey tomorrow, there's no way i can take him out in the afternoon. we shall see...

3.) i found out today that our superwickedawesomecool lawn guy isn't doing residential contracts anymore! BOOOOO! we have to mow our own lawn and that bites 'cause it's HUGE and takes over an hour to do - sometimes TWO! we'd never find someone who would do that for 50 bucks, let alone 25!

BUT! but, but, but!
today's blessing is that he tells me he tore up my cheques from last year's bill he gave me last month, and we can TOTALLY use that money as you know, if you've been following along...

once again, i'm sure there's more, but i sha'nt be boring you with this wretchedness much longer. bear with me! lol!

ch~ill

m.i.a.

wow.
i've been here and there, running about my life over the past week, and i seriously think my head shall soon explode. here's hoping for an IMplosion....less mess for them to clean up after i'm gone!