friendly neighbourhood blogger

time for a daily dose of me. you ready?

i have nothing fantastical to report...just some updates regarding certain things.

1.) carpet? it's gone, gone, gone! tharen installed some 'hard wood' laminate and it looks great. we just have to do the finishing on the room transitions and trim, then we're done!

2.) illnesses? well, you heard about jack in the hospital. it took him a few days to recover, but it was a little serious for a bit. given the history of e. coli infections and noro viruses, i'm glad i took him in to see a pediatrician. HOWEVER! jared got sick, only not as bad, and then i did! no wonder, with the amount of puke splatter i had the joy to partake with! i was out of commission for a handful of days and lost 10 pounds that i'm really not interested in finding. it's a good thing, because i needed a little trimming, but that tells you how sick i was for a few days! tharen actually had to stay in from work, and that bites. ...on a side note: i had a few people mention to me that i should feel lucky to have had that help from him. while i do, i can't help to think that the persons' snottiness towards me had more to do with their own wishes for their past lives. of COURSE my husband stayed home. that's how a good family works. pay attention to your own, which could really use the attention. i'm not about to feel guilty for having a good life, so get over yourselves. oh. and not eating chips anymore helps with the whole weight loss thing a lot.

3.) i am still me, and i feel the need to ask: how many digs does somebody get in before i grab my shovel? seriously? get on fixing your own life and personality fails. i'll fix mine. perception rules, so get your head outta your ass, wipe off the asshole attitude, and we'll get along fine. but that's just my opinion, and a bitchy one at that. if i want advice, i'll ask for it. i'm pretty comfortable with my own decision making skills, are you? again. perception rules. oops. i think i've been bitching too long. have you had your eye on the clock instead of being a good friend? i wouldn't time someone's epiphany scale. that's the tip of the ice burg, and seriously rude. wow. i sure am glad this isn't public yet.

4.) tharen's myspace! yay! still workin' away. he chose a name that i've mumbled about our family for years. a suprise for me, but i love it. no, i can't tell you, lol! i wish i could, because all you lovelies would be graced to listen....maybe one day.

5.) tharen's other projects - i haven't spoken much about, but there's the one in the competition i was talking about....seth, the singer and project leader, has asked me to do their myspace as well. now. can we understand why i'm a little hesitant? at first it was a little here, a little there, but now he wants me full on. i told him i'm wary of it, & he'd have to pay me for my services as well as tharen. HE says he's a close, personal friend of the weed fairy, and she pays accordingly. huh. contrary to popular belief, i DO in fact have too much to fill my days already and have squandered it away on the phone and computer too often! SO! everything i should be doing just keeps piling up, because i refuse to give up playing with the boys. i have to curb my phone appetite and go back to not answering the phone all the time....except for VIPs! (you know who YOU are!) but even still...that has to be tamed too, because before you know it, the day is always over!

6.) oh, one more forgotten rant: f.y.i.: talking about voting is NOT discussing politics. once more, i realize that the things people say to me have a lot more to do with their selves than me. fuck off with the righteous asshole shit already, and let's have a conversation like a grown up does.

my window is closing now...i have to go get jack from school, run errands, build on myspace, write a letter, make 4 phone calls, write two bios and compile a resume. fun times....but i like it. oh. then i should work on cleaning this place we need to do all this living in!

~

this rollercoaster is making me nauseous

okay it's gotta end now, right? a cycle has come to an end, i'm hoping.

good news about jack...he's feeling better! slowly but surely coming around and getting some sustenance in. his smiley face is there, and he was arguing and cracking jokes, so he'll be ok soon. he's not moving very far from a place to lay down, though.

bad news - this turn around was after i took him to the hospital last night for some industrial strength gravol. he had been puking all day from the time i first heard it at 6:30am when he got up to pee and puke at the same time. i finally made the decision to take him in around 6pm and got home around 1am, asleep around 3am. ( & awake at 6am with jared because tharen has to work as much as possible) more for the bad news file on jack: he has the WORST smelling gas EVER. seriously. i think something died in there.

good news about the truck! i took it in to the dealership because as it turns out, we are just under the wire for the warranty. now we have a new battery! but...

bad news about the truck! we took it in to the neighbourhood shop to get the rear brakes done today and the pads had been worn to less than 30%, so the calipers have to be replaced to the tune of $250. joy. that means that we have to spend around $150 every year just on redoing the rear pads so we don't have that problem again and wreck the rotors. caveat emptor, people...caveat fucking empTOR! what's 'fuck' in latin? anyone? ya know what? caveat VENditor, to the next money grubbing corporate ass jacker who tries to sell me a craftily designed cash sucking vehicle!

good news about the carpet! it's gone! yes!!! my house smells so good. (except for what's wafting from jack's butt) we totally scored with an excellent price on some leftover hardwood from my friend's house down the street, and our landlord is unbelievably paying for it! that is super cool because i was sure he'd say no. i had to phone him to tell him about having to take out the carpet and it didn't hurt to ask, did it?!? we just have to do the work, but it's going to be beautiful, thanks to some help from some good friends and harry! i can't wait 'til next weekend. the boys are going to my mom's so we'll be able to get it all done and hopefully get everything organized before sunday night.

bad news regarding the floors, though. if there has to be a bad side, it's that we can't afford to pay for it until the end of the month. let me explain: we pay up front and deduct from the rent. it's no problem, they say, but i would feel better paying right away- know what i mean?

bad news/good news: muriel is gone. she died yesterday morning just before 8am with her husband and some family near. even though this was anticipated, of course everyone is very sad. i want to be with my brother so bad, and you can hear it in his voice, too. now i can't even go meet him on the dyke because of the truck.

i have an assignment for you:

1.) go hug a loved one and tell them what they mean to you.
2.) forgive a grudge. ( a forgivable one)
3.) read this message i got in an email today.

life is too short.

**update: i know you can't see this...it was an html copy....i will transpose it tomorrow, as i have been out drowning my sorrows this evening and don't have it in me. it's worth it. so was my buddy's show that i went to tonight...all i gotta say is: SDT! (google 'em)

****update #2: transposition complete. it's late sunday night. i'm going to go lay in bed and wrap my head around this while i drift off...

when things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayo jar and the two glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonaisse jar and filles it will golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full - they agreed it was.

The prof then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in the jar, shaking it lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He asked the students again if the jar was full - they agreed it was.

The prof next picked up a box of sand and poured it in the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes'.

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand in the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, there's not anything left for what matters. Pay attention to the hings that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the hosue and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented. The prof smiled. "i'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always time for a couple glasses of wine with a friend."

~

there's no use crying over spilled milk, sweetheart

whatever.

okay. here's a snapshot of these days.

1.) tharen can't fix our brakes because after twice taking the wheel off, once to find out you need a special tool (which we bought), and then again only to find out that you need an air pressured tool as well! so now we have to pay the dude down the street 90 bucks to do it in his shop. tharen sure is happy that he arranged the time to do the brakes when it would've been more cost effective to just take it the fuck IN to the shop in the first place so he could WORK! whatever.
2.) when i went out to take jack to school this morning, i had to reach back in the house and grab my wallet. the door was in the process of closing, so i held my foot up to stop it and push it open again. my foot went through the cat door, and at first i though it was a little cute 'n' stuff, you know, early morning giggle material: "oh! *heehee* my foot went in through the cat door! *heehee*" but yeah. my foot literally went THROUGH the cat door. the stupid thing broke off, and now i have to go buy a new one. whatever.
3.) so, i'm a little pissed at this point, but goin' good at the same time because i'm gonna get jack to school early enough to hang with his friends before he goes in the class. yeah. NOPE! battery's dead. so i quickly call to see if the religious devil spawn down the street has left yet, and they had, BUT super evil spawner rushes right over with a jump start, and i get jack to school a few minutes late, meaning i have to take him inside to the office....which means i have to turn off the truck after running for only five minutes.

yes! all you in the know are right! NOT LONG ENOUGH TO CHARGE! i knew the fucking thing wouldn't start when i came back out! beepbeepboop-boopbeepboop-beepbeepbeepboop...hello, bcaa? SAVE ME! dude comes half an hour later, jumps me, gives the battery a successful (wtf) charge test, and i'm on my merry way, with no idea why my battery died in the first place. whatever.4.) i'm so merry because i'm on my way to pick up tharen's paycheque....this means a new cat door, brake service, umpteen bill payments, FOOD, and a carpet cleaning which i'll cover in my next point. paycheque...what paycheque? that's right! NOT THERE! so i phone tharen, tharen phones boss, boss says that pay day is really on the 16th, and he's just been getting them early. whatever.
5.) the carpet. yes. the stinky, smelly, stench filled, bacteria laden, lung congesting synthetic loop system of bovine juice rot infested carpet. sweet stuff! my house smelled like a thousand rotting asses yesterday. the other day i thought i smelled a little something 'off'. i searched high and low and finally came upon the smell on the couch. jared had been given a juice box thingy that squirts out a little every time it gets squished a little with MILK in it and allowed to go in the living room. i'm not gonna say who gave it to him, but he's tall, hairy, answers to 'dingbat', and i'm married to him. he totally knows better! FUCK! anyway, after berating his sorry brain power, i get out the steamer thing and get to de-lousing the couch. it works. but i can still smelllllllllll.....FUCK!

it's the carpet! and it's wet! and i'm gagging! holy christ i swear i almost passed out when i bent down to sniff it. so, upon discovery through investigation, there was some sort of dairy product spilled there while there was a babysitter here the day before. i wanted to go get her and drag her back to the house to give her a life lesson on what happens when you don't clean up milk properly, but i couldn't. i must deal. FUCK.

so i attack the carpet with my steam cleaner, but that just winds up sending steamy wafts of puke inducing stench up to me to infiltrate my clothes and hair! nixed that idea and covered it in pretty jasmine vanilla baby powder and rolled it up to get at the underlay. more baby powder and some propping up to air out....some bleach and a scrub brush for the wood underneath (which is just plywood, booooo), and it's good with all the doors and windows open, intermittent lysol sprays, and the boys hiding in my bedroom to alleviate the stench from getting stuck in their snot. jared's mostly happy 'cause we stopped asking if it was his butt that smelled!

i've laid the carpet back down, and while the reek has greatly improved, it's NOT gone. i have to douse it with some oxi clean and get the store rental carpet cleaner on it. the bonus here is that the carpets needing cleaning anyway, as well as countless rugs and the couch, most importantly. whatever.

6.) i'm sure there's more, but i'm gonna go chug the rest of my wine to see if it helps with my whine.

lights~out

radiated lollipop, anyone?

cancer fucking sucks the big one!

i'm having a hard time with things today (actually the last few days). i'm stretched beyond far with my thoughts for my brother and his family. millie's mom has been moved to a palliative care facility for the last of her time in her body on earth. she's no longer receiving any treatment, and is just wanting help in dealing with all her final issues, including pain. i feel sad and disconnected at the same time. shock would be a word i could use for how i felt after talking to my brother the other day when he called with the news. at the end of our conversation, when we usually exchange some sort of abusive banter - mostly him telling me specifically how to flip the bird to tharen - he instead said he wanted a hug. that is such a foreign thing - for the phone, anyway. mostly sounds sweet, i know, but that's not usually how it is with us. we love each other and everything, but we often find our joy in abusing each other good heartedly! it pains my heart to think of my brother feeling vulnerable, and i know he's just drowning his sorrows so that he doesn't have to feel much. he's already an alcoholic, so who knows how this will all play out for him. worse? better? all i know is that he's in pain watching his wife and her family suffering through muriel's pain, confusion and helplessness. i can't even imagine.

muriel and her husband had some grand plans for her last few months....they knew she's dying, but assumed they'd have a bit more time. even though she was advised against travel, they decided they were going to try vegas for a last hurrah. turns out that won't be happening - she's just too sick. she's already been without treatment for about a month now because she wants to at least be able to enjoy some of her time. chemo made her so sick, it was horrible. that means that the cancer will be allowed to take over, but at least they'll be able to manage her pain. she wasn't guaranteed any more time, regardless of the radiation or chemo.

they had it well thought out. first, they went to a local casino for the weekend, then they were planning a short flight to see how she handles the altitude, to culminate with a trip to nevada, but no more. she must remain in canada, i suppose to help with issues that could arise if she died on american soil. poor woman. i am at such a loss. i don't know what to say. i'm going out to tend to my brother's tendings, as millie is at her mom's side and the kids need some attention. harry is staying out of the house as much as possible now that he's back working most days, but life is going on, as it always will. it's the way of this world and the path all of our souls will eventually take one day.

~
p.s.
my wish for the 11th of 11 consecutive posts @ 11:11
is for this little slice of hell to be over with.

come ON, spirit guide! too much time is wasting away.
you and lady nature get figurin' & work it out, already!
~

just me, my wine and my ER, thank you

a well played out era is over. ER's dynamic was often sought after, but never matched.

examined, emulated, expanded, yet never exalted.
it is difficult, if not impossible to match the happenings inside the minds of michael crichton and john wells, among the rest of the stellar crew - executive or otherwise.

last night delivered the end, and i've been there since the beginning. every season except part of 1999, i think. my job aside the pre-game ballet stage serving the finest of gentlemen every thursday, friday and saturday kept me away only when i would forget to record it. damned strippers! i'm pretty sure i have some copies on good ol' vhs, so i'll be okay until christmas when i get my seasons 1-15 ER dvd's! *kidding!* i'd want seriously cooler presents in the real world. santa knows me...he knows what i like.

i did miss this year's season opener that has dr. pratt dying, but that's ok...i was at a gig of tharen's, and youtube is my friend.

this record setting, ground breaking t.v. series was the shit! out of 122 emmy nominations, they snagged 22 trophies over its 15 season run that ran 10 of those seasons consecutively in the top ten. please inform me if anyone has done better than that, but i don't think so.

michael crichton, the show's creator, is also one helluva book author & he based ER's pilot episode on his own experiences as a fledgling medical professional. i'm sure that's what made it more believable, as the man has a gift for drawing you into his stories. take a click on the link i provided above to find out more about a man who lived a beautiful life and now rests in peace during the same year his greatest creative baby must lie down. mr. crichton's loves lost him to cancer. (click here to see how i feel about that subject.)

john wells is well...pardon the pun, mostly 'cause it wasn't funny. he was the show's co-creator, head writer and executive producer, and well deserved of all accolades. wells also produced and wrote for china beach, a show that ran on ABC for four seasons.

my dad got me hooked on that show back in nineteen eighty fucking nine. *throwin' horns over here!* he had been recording it, and one day i was looking for something to watch so i threw in one of those tapes. i spent the rest of the weekend watching all the shows, and caught it every time i could from there after. it pops up in syndication from time to time, so catch it if you can. it must be on some fancy shmansy yankee satellite channel, so surf away!

out of the parade of thespianage through chicago's county emergency room doors, i'm pretty sure maura tierney's character was my fave. who wouldn't want sally field as a mom? well, the real one...not the wacknut recurring character she played on the show as abby's mother. tierney wasn't an original cast member, but it was a nice surprise when she showed up at county general fresh off the L. the last time i had seen her was on newsradio, one of my favorite all time sitcoms.

abby and i were even pregnant together...how 'bout that? i had my second rugrat at the same time! *girly sqeal* *kidding!* one of the seemingly unimportant details that quite impressed me is how they kept true time. the right length of time passed accordingly, and up to the very last scene involving abby and luka's life, they had kept the child at exactly the same stage as little jared! trivial, i know, but that matters to some people. i can understand somewhat, because honestly i felt a little camaraderie with my buddy abby. if they had opened season 13 with her tyke joe magically being 7 instead of 1, i'm positive that would've been the beginning of the end for me. i hate that.
what other shows have done that?? some, i know, but i can't think of the names...

sometimes i wonder what happened to the fictional patients and their families. like one that i'll always remember is from a storyline with the extraordinary dr. green played by anthony edwards . whatever happened to the family of the labouring mother he was working on who died as he saved the baby? i was pregnant with my first mini stink butt jack and it caused me to question whether or not i should be watching this or any other medical programs! ooo, did i cry?

one my favorite snippets off the reel is from when that prick, dr. romano got smashed by the helicopter just a few short weeks after getting...well, check this out:



what? it could happen.

what the hell am i gonna do on thursday nights now? sleep? pfft. blog!

i say i do a 'song of the week' post.

que pensez-vous ? convenez ?

oop. must vacate the premises!

tharen, the boys and i all have an appointment with the chomper dr. in a while. i hope i don't get run over by an ambulance on my way across the street to grab a coffee! (all you die hards will get that...)

~

answer: no, i wasn't that näive.

a while back, i wrote a post about waylon's girl wondering if i had been that näive when i was a little girl [read: in my early 20's]. well, i've realized that i probably wasn't. mostly i came to the realization on my own, because i know myself, i know how my brain has functioned, and i recall the depths into which my mind had been stolen on several occasions. the difference between myself and ms. knowitallandthensome, is that i actually educate myself when i ponder.

when i wanted to learn about say, the music industry, i paid attention. i went to the library. i asked questions. i didn't spew half stewed 'truths' to the world because i was aware that i could probably be better informed. i still am that way. i think the person who thinks they know every absolute truth on one or many subjects is the dumbest one in the room. i am all for voicing my opinion, and do so regularly, but i will let myself learn - i actively seek knowledge daily. tharen even notices the antsy disposition that i have about myself when i haven't anything to read in the house...i'm pretty sure i mentioned not too long ago about how i re-read my favorite book?...and i'd do it again when i have to, and i will have to. wow, do i ever digress alot. OOP! the a.o.a.d.d. is flaring up again!

i usually don't even get into stating opinions if i'm not certain. if i AM certain, though? i'll debate happily. properly. i also happen to be a yeller, so when the rules of engagement get crossed, i tend to resemble my emulate, the battering ram. (be nice!)

while i realize i should be more like:




the intelligent player, slowly calculating...



when i get into it, i'm usually more like:



nudging you with my knowledge, to put it nicely. you've seen what they do when they fight, right? i'm awed by that power, and tend to feel that way when i whip my posts.
wow. that sounded kinky. cool.


being wrong isn't a character flaw. the flaw exposes itself when the character starts being an asshole upon realizing the wrong.

i'm comfortable with being wrong...i just never am! (kidding!) (sort of!) but still. i don't act like a tit when i am.

anyways, the thing that brought me to this post was a little blurb in today's paper titled, 'in the world of miss universe' by doug camilli. the first line reads: "seriously?" and i can't agree more. WTF is with the world today? i am SO gonna have to write the epic 'blog on my feelings about it one day. damn, why are so many of the kids of today so idiotic and self centered?!?

i guess miss dayana mendoza, 22, this year's reigning miss universe went to guantanamo bay to cheer up some US troops! what a good girl. i'm sure she pulled up with a full tummy in her air conditioned, chauffered ride feeling really good about what she was about to accomplish. i mean really! what lucky girl gets to say she's been to a place that *gasp* president oBAMa talks about? [one link to why i feel sick]

"um, i like, heard about some *hair toss* tortures and icky things happening here, and um, that's like, *hand up* wack, and you burly boys totally didn't deserve that! i'm not even going to listen to all the nasty things that get said about your bosses! those pictures are totally like, photoshopped or something retarded. my friend skylar does that for like, work! isn't mr. barrack like, closing this place or something? yay! *sky punch* so, you can go home, and everything will be sooo cool! i'm soooo excited for you! *clapclapclap* it's almost summerrrrrrrrr!"*jigglejiggle*

kidding. i don't know if that's what she said, but i wouldn't doubt it.

wanna know what i DO know? after her appearance, she wrote in her 'blog about it. you know, about how when you think of gitmo all you can see is how "relaxing, calm and beautiful it is there?" see the quotations? that's a quote.

anyway, this was supposed to be some light hearted sillybitch bashing, but fuck...am i ever sick of little minds. that's why i tend to stay away from people sometimes. well, alot of the time. this is one chicken that does NOT mind being alone.

here's a poem, copyright, ME!

Thinking without reason -
there's a psyche somewhere
indulging in the depths
into which my mind's been stolen.

The happenings inside my eyes
are i think the realease of the panic monger.
Maybe the day when they cease to stun me,
I'll be laughing in my face.

©cmdec'92

~

it was a fishy date

...and i think i smell like shark bait!

i think they're 'off the hook', though - so to speak...*groan*...the sign reads, "blah, blah, blah, not responsible for wet clothes due to shark frenzy."


MAN! did it EVER reek like dinner back there!



warning: i'm very punny, you know.

i went on a date with all my guys tonight to the aquarium store, and it was deadly! heh, literally! jack and jared love it there, but tonight was the first time we got to see the shark feed! ooooo, it was neato mosquito!

first of all, what you see is tank after tank of gorgeousness! tonnes of live coral, weird shit, cool shit, pretty things, suckers, blowers and annihilators. at the very back of the store you'll find the massive 2500 gallon tank full of JAWS babies searchin' for the nearest free lunch or hand, you know...whichever. did it ever go fast! i wonder if they feed them other than the weekly show...something for all you p.e.t.a. folks to pet.

anyway, right after you get past the initial awe, you move on to the second stage, which is: hey! there's like, 5 sharks in here...and a giant eel, AND a great big other somethin' or other! do they have enough room? (answer: NO) . you then slip back into the experience with awe, only to be awakened so rudely when you get splashed with water over the edge of the enclosure from the brutal frenzy going on once the dead fish chunks are dropped in! i thought it seemed kinda gross, what with the smelly chunks and all, but i was hastily corrected by a stray ankle biting six year old that it was "cool", and his 5 year old yard ape little brother wanted to know if i knew that "water is good for me?". snotty little shits! kidding...they were cute 'n' stuff, too.

anyway, once they've all gotten a good chunk (the sharks), there's some peaceful roaming, the odd nudge, and then WHAP! the giant eel springs from his hiding place under the coral, stretches up straight to the water's break the split second he sees an opening and snags the last chunk...he then proceeds to wiggle back down into his makeshift dining room to (gag) do that thing i've seen snakes do when they eat (gag).um, snakes creep me out. eels in water - i can live with 'em, but snakes? things without legs SHOULD NOT move. i once saw my friend feed his giant snake a rabbit in one blocked off room of his house off the living room. i tried not to see it, but out of the corner of my eye, i saw the fucking thing LEAP through the air and snag the bunny. cute, right? (gag) then when i was leaving, i couldn't help but to look over and i saw it fucking gagging in reverse to get the furry fellow down. oh! did i forget to mention the crunch? (gag) but i digress...

here's some loveliness from my evening, enjoy:

see the starfish? it's there!

peek-a-boo, stingray dude!

the electric blue crayfish, elles & g's!









a piranha...scaaaaaary stuff! this one was freakin' out on my camera!

cooooooooooooool.

this one is so super cute it could also almost have
it's own super freakin' cute installment!
i'd leave you with it if...

...i didn't want to know WTF this thing is...anyone?

oh. & i found nemo.

*groan*
~

stupid girl

well. waylon's girl is officially retarded.
i really don't have much else to say about that except:
STFU, silly bitch!

have i mentioned that she's writing music reviews now? i wish i could send you the link to her blog so you could read for yourself how uneducated she seems with the whole music industry. she's taking well known facts and twisting them to have you believe she's just discovered the mystery to the music making machine.

she chose to do a review of tossing logic. stupid, stupid girl. first of all, she's been around for about 42 seconds. second, she don't know shit about shit. third, i wanna smack her.
yeah, the review wasn't glowing with pride for them, but it's more than that. where the fuck does a stupid little girl get the notion that professional musicians give a fuck what she has to say, anyway?

some TL story links for ya:
1
2
3

ah.
she shot her own foot. i shall enjoy...except for when i hear about how waylon feels when he talks about how she referred to his "thoughtless lyrics". i happen to be witness to that man crying in his notebook, that fucking little twat. i am so fucking done even bothering with that one. this is my prediction for the pretty little perfect thing ( i give it 6 years) :fuckin' tool is gonna have all sorts o' baby-daddies! yee-haw!
i betcha....i betcha....

...or this, 'cause our prep schooled casting couch star of the future can't seem to pay the rent... :

...but i could be wrong....and i'd feel so bad....IF i was wrong...

wow, so negative, hey? damn she pisses me off. not totally positive of why, but she rubbed me wrong from dias uno!

there's more on tossing logic in my blog....just search the 'band drama' tag or click the story links that i've ever so graciously provided! i'm sure there'll be more to come! patience, dear me....it can only be a matter of time. patience....he will have a new one to annoy us all soon. i'm sure. i hope. pleeze, gawd, make it so!

~

lost and found

something occurred to me last night and it kept me thinkin'.

sooo, this is just a little somethin' i've made up for you to ponder on this fine day.

ahhh, sunday...


~things lost that will never be found again:

• virginity
• time
• sleep
• trust
• youth
• innocence
• socks& don't forget...
• your lunch

~ things found that were never really lost in the first place:

• your mind
• your keys

and last, but not least...

• cat puke at the bottom of the stairs

~

hopefully...

...some old codger, or perhaps simple sam, maybe even a basic betty - any with money to burn - will happen across my blog and feel inspired.

feel inspired to grant wishes, that is.

see, teague here wants to write.
about stuff.
for a living.
...or at least a comfortable, fulfilling existance.

maybe i shall score with the blog browsers and get straight to the source - a publishing house extraordinaire! (please, sweet jeezuz! i've gots lots of material, and loads to say!)

i wouldn't be able to endeaver this on my own for at least 5 years due to our crushing bill load every month. truck and loans are to be paid off by then, so i will have the funding to properly shop my brain wares.

publishing would be an egotistical dream-mare come true! one way or the other, it WILL happen. technically, it already happened when i was 21 or something in a poetry library. i entered a 'contest' and supposedly out of thousands of applicants, hundreds got chosen with me being a lucky one.

in reality, it was an actual book. my parents and i each have a copy and it's a great big thing. the publisher said my poem went along with their 'approved themes' because it was about god. what they didn't realize is that it was MY version of god; but it was published, and here it is:

We are innocent,
we are pure.
We pray to God
and he says, "Yeah, right. Sure!"

It comes to me in
the peak of the night
to play with my head and
leave me dreading the
inevitable fright.


I may be innocent.
I could be pure.
But if I ever prayed to God,
he'd say, "Yeah, right! Sure."

©cmsept'91 (me)

Wiki says: The archangel Gabriel serves as a messenger from God. he first appears in the Book of Daniel in the Hebrew Bible. In some traditions he is regarded as one of the archangels, or as the angel of death. He is also known as Saint Gabriel to some Christian denominations.

Christians and Muslims believe him to have foretold the births of John the Baptist and Jesus. Islam further believes he was the medium through whom God revealed the Qur'an to Muhammad, and that he sent a message to most prophets, if not all, revealing their obligations. He is called the chief of the four favoured angels and the spirit of truth, and in some views Gabriel is the same as the Holy Spirit. Gabriel also finds mention in the writings of the Bahá'í Faith, most notably in Bahá'u'lláh's mystical work Seven Valleys.

yeah. so anyway, it turned out that the company gave out scholarships and stuff, but i'm sure it was only to people who spent their $cashola$ on the things they were trying to sell. for instance, i got a letter from them saying that the cadence of my piece was suitable for audio recordings, and would i be interested in having my poetry orally recorded? all i had to do was buy at least one copy and i could be on it! oh, joy. yeah. i've got somethin' you can do orally...

no, i didn't go for it.

then, there was the 'best of the decade' publication, or something like that. same deal. that was when i stopped opening their mail. i figured, if it was important enough, they had my phone #, right? they could call, i could screen it, and we'd all be happy! needless to say, they stopped sending mail, and i didn't get rich off my musings.

a big part of the reason i didn't want to do anything further with it is because it was from a poem that i half stole from my cousin when i was like, 16! I, um, extended on her one stanza work? hers was good and mine was better, but i always think of that. lesson learned! they are different pieces in their own right, and i suppose i could say hers inspired mine, but i'm not sure. honestly, i don't really remember the circumstance clearly, other than that i had really admired a few lines she had written down.

i need something of mine in print. something of mine from beginning to end, wonderfully bound, and with an enticing cover photo. if you ever see anything with the name teague rossdale, buy it, love it, and then tell all your friends about it, okay? thanks!

teague
= gaelic ~ poet
= welsh ~ fair, beautiful

ross
= americanized version of jewish 'rose'

dale
= middle english ~ valley
= irish ~ blind

i take it to mean:

'poet of the roses in the blind valley'

...or something like that.p.s. if i had any idea how to use photoshop, these pictures would have been somehow merged!...or this one:

~

the "too freakin' cute" installment

all right.

i'm not really a girly girl, and i don't usually get fluttery over kitties & puppies. babies though? love 'em. all be it with reservation. i DON'T squeal, and they usually don't tick my biological tock, but i LOVE oogilee-googilee-ing them....and they love oogilee-googilee-ing me.

i saw this picture in the newspaper today and i tried to find an online copy to snatch with no luck, so i scanned it....i felt compelled to share, 'cause it's soooo cute.

(don't worry, the whole 'cute' thing doesn't happen often)
(unless it's from my kid....one day he stubbed his toe,

and when i asked him which one, he told me it was the roast beef one!)
(awww)

i'm done. here's the shot:


they're at a massage class in the netherlands with their mommies, and this is part of the cool down segment meant to simulate womb-like conditions. they call these the 'tummy tubs'.

now, is that cute, or what?

oogilee-googilee!

it's 11:11, do u know where your spirit guide is?

have you ever heard the theories behind number repetitions? through actual number patterns, or repeating sequences, people are yielding to the mental pressure [read: stressing] over some phenomena of angel guides that are around in this new age to assist us or something. well, maybe stressing about it is a little egregious. i didn't have enough time to totally dive in, so you can if you're interested. you could be interested. i don't know. maybe you know about it, maybe you think it's bunk. i choose to believe that 11:11 is an excellent opportunity to make a wish. have for some time, actually. i can't remember how it started.

google it, weed out the crazies, and there have actually been some 'credible' speaking done on the subject. one prolific speaker on the topic is uri gellar. i'm sure there's more to read on him out there, but i'm to lazy to do more than wiki right now. it's actually 9:30pm, wednesday, march 25th right now. nothin' special about that! right? right. i just crunched the numbers.

what i did gather was this: preliminary studies done earlier in his career at stanford research institute concluded that he had successfully demonstrated enough paranormal executions to warrant further serious study. the term "geller effect" was coined to refer to the particular type of abilities they felt had been demonstrated.
yes, he claims not to be psychic per say, but a mystifier. ok. good for uri. he has made a career of television and festival appearances. one could be so lucky...

anyway, the 11:11 premise is that you'll notice all sorts of electrical instances occurring.
seeing 11:11 as the time on your clock, for one.
no, no, no, not once, but over and over and over again!

~ that happens to me. it's 10:11 right now. (i've been googlin') that sort of counts to them, i think.


☼
street lights going on and off when you walk by.

~ i thought that happened to everyone. doesn't it?
☼

computer problems with power and stuff.

~ oh, you mean like MY computer that just happens to turn off for no apparent reason all the freakin' time? ...even though i've had the power supply replaced FIVE times, it still happens. coincidence?

oh yeah. did i mention that i LIVE in the wish house? yes. i do. my address is 1111, no lie.

this isn't my picture, but that's no lie.

some people get so passionate about it they'd get it tattooed! huh.

maybe that's why my spirit guides gave me the idea to publish at 11:11...?
marketing, baby!

lemme tell ya - i'm gonna have one helluva wish post on nov.11! (◄---see??)
11/11? *remember*

critics say it's a post-hoc analysis. that is, a study perceived after the fact, and with only that in mind. i'm not so sure that it's dredging for a conclusion to the 'experiments'! it just happens. trust me, i know. this is worldwide. odd phenomena it is, for sure. people have all sorts of things to believe in, and if they're thinking that this world is waking up, well, who are we to stop that energy? well, not me, but maybe you...i hope it doesn't stop.

~peace~